I've been taken

I'm sorry

Keep going, Keep going, keep going....

I hold my breathe as we shuffle down the stairs, our steps sloppy and our breathing uneven. I'm shivering and my thigh and arms and everything is just aching and Ryan isn't making things so easy either but, I have to suck it up and continue. 

As we walk across the hallway floor I can't help but let my mind wander...

If I had left him there. If I had just walked away, and ran. Would I have made it? 

Could I have made it. If they found me would I want to go with them? Would I have wanted to leave with them.. Would I have wanted them to find me in the first place. No. Because what am I going to go home to in the first place? Nothing. I'd be all alone. In my own apartment. Dad wouldn't be any help. Him and mom got a divorce a couple years ago, But it never affected me.. He's not very loving. I need someone like that.

I need someone to love me. 

I snap out of it when Ryan groans. I look over to see his eyes clenched in pain, his mouth slightly open as he groans out.

"Ryan, come on." I mutter and I end up shuffling two more steps to the right then needed and we both topple over. I end up straddling him and we sit there. He bursts out laughing and I almost slap him for being so foolish in a serious moment like this.

"Stop laughing you loon." I hiss, but I end up barking out in laughter too. He's so stupid.. Our laughter dies down and soon we're smiling at each other. And it's just now I notice I'm still straddling him. I chew on my lip. 

Loud, dark thunder rings out jolting us both out of our staring contest, at least that's what I'm referring it to as. I jump off of him and help him up again. He limps slowly and I start pushing him, "Come on, Hurry up!" I urge.

"I can't, damn it. Jesus Christ, slow down." He hisses, and he suddenly jerks his right hand up and clutches his stomach. As he clutches it I see a whole bucket full of blood gush out. I whimper and turn my head away from the scene, feeling my eyes blur. It's disgusting; It's just seeping out of him like honey. I hold back a sob as we continue hobbling forward, towards the backdoor, where I had jumped through. When we stand in front of it, I grasp the knob and jerk at it, making it fly open. Wind and rain hits us and I gasp, clutching the knob for dear life. Ryan grunts and I just know more of that horrid blood is leaking out of him.

I shiver and he pushes me forward, so I stumble out in the dark night. I turn back around to see him leaning against the brick wall, grunting in pain. I clutch at his jacket, begging him to hurry. "Stop, Em.. Stop" He cries. My heart breaks seeing him like this, but what am I supposed to do? I havn't enough strength to just throw him over my shoulder and carry him away with me. And I can't keep dragging him along side me, He can't handle it and he keeps stopping. We're never going to make it! I plop down on the hard ground and I stuff my face in my hands. I scream and sob; and scream again; and again; and again until I finally stop and just curl up into a ball and look up at the sky. The rain fleets down against my skin, against my clothes, making them stick to me. 

What am I supposed to do. What? That's all I want to know. Everything has a purpose, is this a purpose? or is this the end..

I look over to Ryan to see him coughing up blood as he clutches his stomach. He stumbles a bit and rests a hand on the brick wall as he steadies himself. He wipes the blood away from his mouth with the back of his hand and I just watch him, having nothing better to do.

It hurts to see him like this. Yet, I still don't understand my feelings for him, I do know that I love him. In all shapes and forms, I love this boy. With everything in me, I love him. I look down and chew on my bottom lip as Ryan just stands over there, dying slowly. there, I said it. He's dying slowly and I know it. He's suffering so horridly I can't bear it. He's just standing there as Blood leaks out of his body. I lay my head back onto the grass and I close my eyes.