Midnights.

Chapter 38 - Talk talk talk shit.

CHAPTER 38

‘’Excuse me,’’ I cough. ‘’You wanna talk to me? I thought you don’t want to know about me anymore?’’ The flashbacks of him not replying my DMs come to vision. It stabs me deeply, I loathe that feeling.

‘’I didn’t mean to.. Okay if you think that way, just give me one more chance? To be honest I miss you, Luna.’’

‘’You miss me? Sure you do Louis.’’ I remark sarcastically. ‘’I start getting real tired of your bullshit you know?’’

‘’Luna..’’ He speaks, looking at the table. He’s about to continue his words but Eleanor comes to view. He looks at me and whispers, ‘’You do know I have your new number with me, Luna.’’

‘’Shut up.’’ I look away. Never have I thought to be rude to Louis, it’s just him that somehow forces me to do so.

Eleanor sits down and Louis and I just talk with each other again, pretending that nothing has happened. I myself feel abstract as Louis keeps on looking at me secretly. His eyes pleading for a sorry but it’s too late, I guess I won’t apologize him that fast. However he had left me for the damn six years and never came back.

Niall comes back, he says he met a fan’s dad and had a talk. We all only laugh to that and after another 30 minutes, I request Niall to just accompany me back to the hotel. I can’t stand spending longer time with Louis here. Luckily Niall doesn’t struggle much and he agrees to accompany me back to the hotel.

Once we arrive at the hotel, me and Niall go to our own rooms. I really feel like I should be alone, everything just distracts my mind for a moment. Louis misses me, he said? What a total cramp, bullshit.

I pass the mirror and look at the reflection of myself on it. The shirt, the meaningful shirt. Why should I wear this anyway? This, Louis bought this.. Damn brain, stop it.

I’m about to change the t-shirt into a plain blue tanktop when suddenly my phone rings. Damn it, why do people start to ring me much these days? I hardly ever had a phone call before. The ‘trip’ to NYC has really changed my life. Who is it? Harry, obviously.

‘’Why are you calling me?’’ I ask directly. I’m just not in the mood to talk to anyone.

‘’Nothing, just reassuring that..’’

‘’Reassuring what?’’ I roll my eyes.

‘’God damn it, I just miss you.’’

‘’Shit.’’ I snap. So he just calls me since he misses me? How many times should I politely show him that I just don’t feel the same. I do feel something when he acts romantic with me, but that’s just it. I’m not falling for him, and not for anyone once more. I’m tired of love. Love is just, a bullshit.

I release my top and change it to the blue tanktop. I feel comfortable and I hop to the bed, covering my whole body with a blanket. What’s better than sleeping for now on? Hopefully sleeping will help me forget the shitty stuffs I’ve been facing right now.

I swear I just get to close my eyes for 5 minutes when my phone suddenly beeps. Oh Harry, what an actual fuck.

‘’Holy shit!’’ I curse as I reach for my phone. It’s a message from an unknown number. Curious, I open it directly.

‘’It’s me. I’m still waiting for you. I really, need to talk to you.’’

Holy Jesus, it’s Louis.

What more does he want? Isn’t it enough for him to hurt me?

Feeling so enough with his shit, I decide to just fulfill his request.

‘’Alright then, I’ll talk to you.’’ I reply. I know that I’m also dying to talk to him, but somehow my heart has been numb enough to do this kind of thing with him again. Everything will go so awkward, I believe.

‘’Great, do you have some spare time at this um, midnight?’’  He replies for just a seconds later.

‘’I work with Harry every midnights, you remember it.’’ I laugh to myself as I send that message. I only worked with Harry once and we spent the other midnights for doing the other things. I don’t really feel like working with him, but it might be a good excuse to tell Louis.

‘’Just 30 minutes please? Or less? I’ll tell Harry.’’

‘’Alright, 30 minutes.’’

‘’Come to my hotel room then. Zayn will be out tonight, so I guess that would make a good privacy for us.’’  Privacy? Oh my God. I start to wonder why he urges to talk to me, it’s all strange.

‘’Okay, okay.’’

‘’You know my hotel room right?’’ It feels so weird that he keeps texting me, I mean we haven’t done this for a very, very long time.

‘’I do. Lucky that Zayn sleeps at your room so I know.’’ I try to act cold.

‘’Okay, see you !’’

I turn my phone off and charge it. I don’t want to reply Louis again, simply because I’d love to know what he feels since I do so. I don’t know whether he knows that I used to feel so hurt and devastated when he ignored my messages. He was probably, or in fact- too busy chatting with his popular mates than replying to my damn DMs. He has given me so much to remember, I mean the scars. And it’s sick that now he’s the one who pleads to talk to me.

What’s happening on your mind, Louis.

***

‘’That was a good show!’’ I squeal as I run to the backstage to see the lads. I’m not so happy to see Louis but I feel so happy to see Harry, Niall, Liam and Zayn. They had done a very great show, and not to be hypocrite- I’m so in love with Louis’ familiar sexy voice. The lads just bring me to feel a good taste of music. It won’t be so funny if I end up being a music lover!

‘’Thanks Luna, glad you just enjoyed it.’’ Liam smiles. They are all sweaty, everybody is just so tired.

‘’No problem! I feel grateful you guys gave me a front-row-ticket.’’

‘’Oh, look at so many changes Harry had caused you.’’ Louis suddenly joins in. He looks hot in those sweats, and tattoos. Tattoos? I just realized that Louis has so many tattoos and it’s weird that I don’t hate the bandit look. Presumably it’s because I’m used to see Harry’s inked topless body.

I ignore Louis’s statement and show them all the pictures of them I took on the whole concert. To my happiness they are all satisfied. They compliment me and I just get to smile.

Just when we all wish to go back to the hotel, Harry approaches me and says, ‘’30 minutes only, right?’’ I nod, I guess Louis had told him that I would have to do something with him.

‘’I guess.’’

‘’I’ll pick you in your room, see ya. Don’t harm her, Louis.’’ Harry warns Louis who is already standing next to me. Louis only laughs, causing Harry to laugh too. I just don’t understand guys. Louis puts his arm around me, giving me this strange tingling feeling again. I remember the last time he put his arm around me, it was 17th of April, 2008. Those days just before he graduated. It was still one of the days when I loved him so. What a memorable thing, and I can’t believe he’s doing this to me. Again.

‘’I thought we’re gonna talk in your room?’’ I question as we both enter his dressing room, leaving me all frowning.

‘’I guess we’ll just talk here.’’

‘’Alright, so what do you need to say? I don’t have much time.’’ I say as I sit down, facing him.

‘’It’s.. I’m sorry, Luna. For you know, leaving you.’’

‘’Is a straight sorry enough, Louis?’’ I say as flashbacks start lingering my mind.