Midnights.

Chapter 98 - That confession, and that haunting dream.

CHAPTER 98

I’m dead, stuck rigidly rooted on my place.

The extremely thick air of deep tension is strongly felt amongst the three of us- for the specific, these two guys. My mind spontaneously starts creating scenarios after scenarios- from the most logical one, relaxing one, until the worst one.

It feels like a thousand minutes have passed as all they do is just being silent. I can almost believe that my heart can stop freaking out for one second if they do something rather than just being awkwardly, angrily silent.

Another five minutes passes and their breaths are now heavy with anger. I swear, it would be lots better to watch them fighting than to watch them being covered with their own stupid angers like this.

Are they both angry?

My mind, once again, starts to analyze things. I have no doubts whether Harry is angry because if I’m put in his shoe, I would definitely feel the same. He loves me, he wants me, and I’ve given my trust to him. I know how he feels, and he deserves to be angry. But once again, the shadow of my previous dark life reminds me that Harry’s reaction towards this is.. childish. It will be just a kiss, damn it, and God knows (and Harry himself also knows) that I don’t have any ticklish feeling towards other men rather than Harry.

The analysis moves to Niall. What makes him so angry? The fact that Harry is mad that I’m giving the title ‘winner’ to him, and that Harry definitely doesn’t want me to kiss him? Or, the fact that I won’t want him even if I hold the kiss- and probably even if his lips, his kiss taste much better than Harry’s?

Neither of my analysis goes right, I guess.

‘’So.’’ I eventually say. I won’t be able to anymore stand in this kind of extremely awkward situation even for another split second.

‘’So.’’ The two boys say in unison, tones of disgust and confusion mixed on their voice.

‘’This shit is getting too far.’’ I end my words by standing up. Both of them remain silent, their heads beginning to face the floor. How weird they both are- thought they were mad just a second ago?

‘’Shit? So you’re saying that all the complications and stress we felt whilst cooking is a shit?’’ Niall furiously asks, his face smoked with anger. I thought if someone out of these two guys is mad, it will be Harry because he won’t surely be too happy with the state of me kissing Niall. But what is happening is something out of my expectation because Niall comes out to be the one who’s mad, not Harry. As what I can see on his beautiful face, Harry is really trying his best to keep his cool.

I love how he prevents acting childish for me, for me. My heart leaps, but I decide to focus back on Niall’s angered words.

‘’Have I even finished my words, Niall?’’ I fire back. This is the best sarcastic statement I can ever let out for I wouldn’t want to start being mean again today.

Niall lets out a breath, giving me a chance to finish what I started.

‘’I was meant to say that.. This kissing reward is such a shit. I really had no idea of what award to give to whoever the winner would be.’’ I sigh, being honest. ‘’It was just a spontaneous say that’s it.’’

Harry acts cool, really cool about this but not Niall. ‘’Spontaneous say?’’  He says, repeating those words of mine in such a tensed emotion. ‘’Then you see this all as a joke, then? The cooking and all?’’

‘’I don’t say I see this as a joke, Niall.’’ I say, taking a deep breath to keep my cool stable. I don’t want to be invited to a big party of madness, really. If I want to change I should omits those sinful acts I did whilst being That Damn Old Me. ‘’I just thought that the kissing reward is simply ridiculous.’’