Midnights.

Chapter 101 - Boom Clap.

CHAPTER 101

(Soundtracks:

Boom Clap, Charli XCX.

Little Things, One Direction.

Not A Bad Thing, Justin Timberlake.)

I still have this wide-eyed stare on my face even after Harry has hold my hands tightly, trying to comfort me.

Harry keeps on looking at me with total worried gaze, but he’s most probably more than worried. I don’t know whether it’s just me, but I see some kind of conflicted panic on his face. I know he is indeed worried of me, but I think he has a problem behind my problem.

I can never think straight whenever I’m worried.

It’s been too long until I realize that all Harry and I are doing is just remaining silent, with our eyes open. It feels too tense to fall asleep, and it feels too tired to just say a word. I have no idea how long this silence lasts, though.

I think I heard it when Harry said, ‘’It’s okay if you cry. I will just be your shoulder.’’ I think I agreed with his sentence and I think I did cry eventually. I think I lost my vision and also consciousness because of the blur caused by the downpour in my eyes. I just think.

***

The next time I open my swollen eye again is when the clock strikes at exactly eleven in the morning. Well, is eleven concluded as a ‘’morning’’? I don’t know, I think I might have a bigger problem to think about rather than just a damn timing.

Harry’s not here next to me when I wake up, so I decide to stay laid on his bed. I want to see him but I also don’t want feel like going out of his room, so all I’m doing is just staring at the ceiling.

I try to remember whether any dreams had passed by my sleep last night, and I don’t think I had any. I don’t know how I should feel; relieved, yes I am relieved, but I’m feeling another something I can’t avoid.

The problem is, I don’t know what that another something is. I know right, my words and thoughts are always confusing. I’m still worried, I’m still worried; I still can’t think straight.

After about ten minutes, I decide that Harry might not be back in this room pretty soon. I eventually walk up to my suitcase, taking my clothes and of course my toiletry needs. I also wonder- when will I finally stop doing this? Living out of cases, packing up and taking off. The thought of being at least settled down like I used to has crossed my mind several times, but another questions will sure be following up. Where can I settle down? And with who? I haven’t been alone anymore for quite a long time and..

I’m really used to having Harry’s accompany.

I open the door and closing it the usual way people do to doors in houses- leaving it unlocked. I’m so used to locking doors since I’ve been living in and out hotels so often lately. My steps stop when a girl- a woman in her 20’s accidentally bumps with me. I look up and immediately realize her.

She must be Gemma.

‘’You must be Luna,’’ She chuckles, putting a tuck of hair behind her right ear. ‘’Look, I’m sorry for this okay, I’m quite in a hurry.’’

‘’A hurry? Why?’’ I can’t help but ask. She hastily answers, ‘’My lasagna is cooked! And I was polishing my nails when it was the time it had to be taken. It must be turned all black by now!’’

An overcooked lasagna. I had that accident once I was still fifteen, I guess. My mother used to love making lasagnas and this one Saturday morning she had a guest in the middle of her baking the lasagna. I was trusted to watch the lasagna out but all I did was texting with Louis. She ended up going out with her guest, anyway, so she didn’t figure it out. When I opened the oven all I got in my hands was a hot, overcooked lasagna. It was such a really lucky occasion since my father and brother were out going to a restaurant, and I was all alone.