Edged between

The feast

I sat at the banquet for traitors,
Each had teeth bared like alligators,
And I was one of them, do not be deceived,
For the blood, my chest it heaved

I licked my crimson soaked lips,
Watching how the flesh it rips,
So infatuated by the pain,
As it coursed through my veins,
I killed them, ripped their flesh without consequence
Didn't give thought to any repentance,

This was it, the way life was lived, what I was taught
And into these twisted ideals I bought,
I believed them, as naive as I was,
I gave in into the rush,
The blood, the pain, the deceit
I relished it

Then I glanced at the word through the red,
And saw I was already dead,
I saw them devour, and savour the metal taste on tongue
I was blind all along,

I ran outside the banquet
And I regretted it,
The blood, the pain, the deceit
I hated it,

My breath stolen from my lungs,
as I listened to the banquets songs
Born from lies, it had bound me
And I didn't see
I fell upon my knees,
And felt the ruffle of the leaves,
I had done this, how could I not see
The beast that lived inside of me,

Is this what life was supposed to be,
Me hating you, you despising me,
killing each other with every weapon we can manufacture
Until we all give into death at the rapture,

And I sat, cold and alone
And when everyone was gone,
I realized no one had come to save me,
They did not even see,
The war I was battling deep within me

and the tears, they did fall,
and my voice, it did call,
But nothing, no one
Everyone was gone
I was left, like I had left my enemies
How I had abandoned my kind for centuries

And then I realized I was bleeding
My guilt, my flesh it was eating
But I did not mind,
Karma she was kind,
It was the least of what I deserved
after the malicious life I had lived.