Edged between

what you did

You asked me what you did wrong
After years of being gone
I couldn't help but stare
But I bet you don't even care

'Are you kidding me' it played over in my head
You don't get it, even after all the things I said?
But then again, I never was good with words
I never could express how much it hurts

How did you miss the gentle blue hue on my neck
But that wasn't the thing that hurt the most
It was how you said I was pathetic
That eventually I turned into the shell of my own ghost

It wasn't all the bones that broke
It was the agony it awoke
It was how you broke me, mind and soul
That in the end, i didn't mind the fall

And i still craved your attention
And the pain i wouldn't mention
And how tragic that that's what love became
In the end every emotion was the same

And I finally got out just to be faced with your desire
To push me back into the fire
And you say you want forgiveness
But do you even know what for?
You don't even see what you did to me
You turned me into something I didn't want to be

And now I'm scared of the world
What once was magical now just seems cold
You broke me
But you will never see

The true agony wasn't the scars or the blood
It wasn't how i had to crawl for the mud
It wasn't even the betrayal or words
Its the moment i believed in your words
Its then when you broke me beyond repair
And I realized you were never really there

I was just a place holder for something else
And crashing down came the walls
Just another fit of rage
That broke me in so many ways

So you want to know what you did?
On a page it could never fit
An apology will never do
Because you can never stop being you.