Changing Me

Chapter seven

Ok. Maybe I should've gone home.

The thoughts swarming my head right now are anything but appropriate.

Suddenly I feel like the worst is going to happen. Like something completely out of the blue is going to ruin this. Then I see him get up to stretch in some kind of way, stopping all thoughts I had in my head, and I find myself folding my hands in my lap trying desperately to keep them to myself.

What is wrong with me? I always go for what I want. People know me as the girl who isn't afraid of anything. Whether that be extreme like roller coasters, or something simple like talking to strangers. Now why can't I go for him? Why is it so hard for me to even be normal around him?Oh yeah, that's right. That ever so lovely rejected kiss.

"So, what do you want to do today?" he asks me.

I let the question ponder in my head for a moment, as he waits laying down on his bed, while I sit on an office chair. The distance being the only thing keeping me remotely calm at the moment.

"Let's go to the mall." I say, suddenly feeling excited.

"The mall? Why there?" he asks as he sits up, making me swallow a large lump in my throat. How can a person look so good doing such a simple task. I pray he doesn't here the awkward gulp.

"Plenty of places to go all in one place, and I can get to know you better judging by what stores you're gravitated to." I tell him, and he smiles only a little. It doesn't last forever though. He makes it go away only a second after it's shown.

"Okay, we'll take your car then?" he says to me as he goes to his dresser and pulls out a t-shirt and some jeans. I nod my head yes, finding the words difficult to get out of my mouth.

"I'll wait in the car while you go.. um.. get dressed." I say and I hurry out of the closed space and head downstairs of the house. I find myself releasing a puff full of air as soon as I'm away from him. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath

Seeming as I was drunk last night, I can't remember coming in. The only part of this house I find familiar is Wesley's room, and now it's like I'm being thrown into this entirely new place, and it's beautiful. Right as I walk down from the big stair case I'm faced with a large living room. A tv mounted in the wall directly ahead of me and a big, silky,  black couch with its back towards me about 4 feet away. There's two recliners that sandwich it in, matching the black, leather look.

I step further into the room, gravitating towards the coffee table in front of the tv. It has pictures on it, unlike normal coffee tables that have nothing but a coaster or two.

Like ads under the glossing of a Mexican restaurant table, lies pictures just the same. Pictures of a family, his family. I can see pictures of two baby girls and their lives unfold under the glass, and I can see a little boy with dark hair and stunning eyes grow older and older. He's smiling so wide. I can tell right away that it's Wesley.

The whole thing is so beyond creative that it boggles my mind for a moment. I could never come up with something like this.

"It was my mom's idea."

The sudden voice makes me jump, and I turn around instantly only to be faced with Wesley hovering over me, eyes fixated on the table. Almost as if he read my mind.

"She loves this table." he adds and he grins for a minute. He looks at me, his hands buried in his pockets, and I start to get that feeling again.

No. He's a friend. This isn't something I can be impulsive about. This isn't something I can handle the normal way I do things. Without thinking. I have to be level headed, smart.