Changing Me

Chapter twenty four

I can hear everything going on around me and I want nothing more than to be able to respond. I want to tell Wesley that I love him, and that I am thankful for him being here. Through all of this. He could easily leave and not come back. Decide that this is too much, but he's still here. Hasn't left.

"Wesley hon, I think it's time you go home. You've been here for days." I hear my mom say, but I feel a hand grab mine and squeeze.

"If its alright Mrs. Rogers, I'd like to stay here with Anika. I need to be here when she wakes up." he says to my mother and if I could smile right now, I would.

"Okay, I do think you need to know something though. It's about her father, my ex husband... he's"

"Here. He's here." says a loud, rough, voice that I know all too well. The voice of the man who decided me and my brother weren't good enough for him. That this family wasn't good enough for him. That my mother who did everything for him, wasn't good enough.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asks my mother, and I can here the aggression in her voice. She's working herself up. This is how their fights always began. One of them would raise their voice in the slightest, and it blew up in a matter of seconds.

"If you can remember with your aging brain, you called me and told me to come here for Anika." he says and I want so badly to open my mouth right now. To even look him in the eyes and completely go off on him.

"So now you decide to show up? What happened to the years before?" she asks and her voice is starting to raise.

"Because she's my daughter. If my daughter is in the hospital I am going to be there."

"What about her first day of junior year? Biggest year of high school. What about her college applications and school activities. Or what about the boyfriend who broke her heart, and the new guy who comes along and still manages to show her more love than her father ever did. Where were you then?" she says to him, and her voice raises with every single sentence she speaks. I know my dad won't be taking this. He never did. He always wanted to put my mom in her place when it was always him to start the problem. Whether it be about money, deciding on going out to eat or family events, my mom always walked away hurt.

"Getting away from you! You're toxic! I never left Anika and Danny, I left you!" he screams at her and the room falls silent.

The silence is an automatic assurance to me that my mother has just felt her heart hit the floor. This is the part where she would go up to their room and cry, but there's no where for her to go now.

My whole body begins to tingle at those words. The audacity of him to even think to say something like that to the woman he once stood in front of a crowd to say "I do." Make promises of love, sickness, and health. And for what? For him to say some bullshit like that?

"Shut your mouth." I feel my lips move. For a moment I shock myself seeing as I thought that was only said in my head. If it was only said in my head then why are my lips moving?

"You have always been so controlling and suffocating. All throughout our dating and married life." he spits at her, and I can hear his voice grow louder as he steps closer to my mom. Classic. He loved to get right in her face. I chose to block memories like that from my head, but everything is starting to resurface.

"I said shut your mouth." I feel myself grow louder and Wesley, who has been quiet the whole time squeezes my hand.

"Anika? Anika are you awake? Anika if you can hear me open your eyes. Come on." he whispers to me and I get angry again. I wanted to wake up to peace. I wanted to wake up to just Wesley. None of this bullshit. Nothing should be provoking me like this.

"You always question why I left and the answer is simple. You were, and always will be and manipulative, controlling, psychotic, bitch."

"I said shut your damn mouth!" I yell now, and my eyes slowly open and my heart is racing so fast I can hear the monitor beside my bed start to beep faster and faster.

It took everything out of me to even speak loud enough let alone yell the way I just did.

The first thing I see is his eyes. Sparkling blue, and I smile so wide I can barely keep it to myself.

"Hey." he says with a small grin. His eyes start to become watery and I can't help but feel my chest ache at this beautiful site. I've waited for who knows how long to just look him in the eyes.

"Hi." I say tears filling my eyes as well. He kisses the top of my forehead, and I shut my eyes tight at the comforting feeling.

"Oh my god baby." says my mother as she covers her mouth with her hands and now it seems like everyone is crying.

"Can a doctor come in!" My mother yells down the hallway of my floor. "My daughter is awake!" With those words a smile escapes her lips, and I think everyone has chosen to ignore the elephant in the room. With me waking up how could you not? That still doesn't suddenly erase my first words.

My eyes look up to look at my father who is staring at me blankly. His eyes are sad, most likely filled with guilt. Which he should feel. He should feel guilty. Who leaves their family? Who doesn't even have the balls to ask for a divorce in person instead of hiding behind papers and leaving a wife and two kids behind. Children. He left children.

"Welcome home dad."