Changing Me

Chapter twenty one

As you have noticed, music has been added to the last few chapters of Changing Me, and I do hope you give these songs a listen before, during, or after you read this chapter. This music sets the mood for the feelings written.

Enjoy.

~

I get into my car, and put in the keys, letting the engine rumble to life. My heart is beating so fast, I struggle to tell the difference between the car or my body. Which one is vibrating?

I make my way out of the driveway and pull in to the street.

My only thought right now is how she's probably sitting at home crying. I left her with tears in her eyes which is something I told myself I'd never do to her. I guess I've failed at that more than once, but none of those times did she confess her love to me. None of those times compare to this. This is completely different.

A small smile starts to form on my face, and I try to keep it down, but I can't help it. It'll all be okay in a few minutes. Because in a few minutes, I'll be on her doorstep telling her how much I love her too, and we will finally be able to be happy. No more hiding our feelings and pretending they're not there.

I can't wait to see the smile on her face when I tell her. I can't wait to fix this.

I turn the corner to get out of my neighborhood, the one entering the highway, and my feet slam on the brakes.

A black convertible is slid off the road. The front of the car is completely smashed in, and a large semi truck lays on its side.

Everything feels slow now.

My eyes won't move quick enough and I can't understand why it feels like I'm underwater.

Black convertible.

A black convertible.

The same car Anika drives.

Without thinking clearly, I'm putting the car in park, and getting out immediately. I'm losing my breath as I walk towards the accident only a few yards before me.

"Please God, don't be her." I whisper under my breath. I repeat it over and over and over again.

I look down at my hands, they're trembling so much I ball them into fists to keep myself from having a panic attack. I feel it coming.

I walk up to the car, broken glass surrounding it from the broken lights. I make my way up to the driver's side where a huge dent lies with chipped paint and a busted window. I close my eyes tight for a moment.

When your eyes are closed you can hear everything better. Your senses can no longer rely on the most dominant one, your site. From that point on you are forced to use your sense of hearing to help you survive, to catch things your eyes cannot.

In this case, I close my eyes hoping to hear her breathe.

I don't know what I'm listening for, but all I can hear is my own breath shaking. Nothing feels okay right now. Nothing feels right or normal or safe.

I don't want to know who's in that car.

I open my eyes and immediately feel every ounce of breath I have in my lungs escape me. My heart beat is the only thing I can feel right now. My eyes become so incredibly wide as I realize who I'm staring at. My whole body shakes uncontrollably at the scarring scene before me. An image I will always carry with me for as long as I live.