Changing Me

Chapter twent five

I go home today. I did a series of check ups with my doctors who took good care of me while my parents and Wesley stood in the corner of the room, awkwardly.

Since I woke up, not a single soul wants to talk about the previous argument, but I guess I don't care right now. I don't really see how I can with Wesley standing right in front of me with his wide eyes blood shot red.

My parents leave the room to give us some privacy, and I can't even begin to imagine the conversation that will erupt when no one is watching. Despite this, I look this beautiful boy in the eyes and smile. I smile so hard my cheeks become tense, but it's impossible to start.

"Hi." I say past my smile, and his lips curl up at the corners as he shakes his head slightly. His head tilts to look at me further as he takes a single step closer to my bed. I'm sitting on the edge of it, eagerly waiting for his touch.

"Hi." he says back ever so quietly. If I wasn't looking at his lips I would have to question if he even spoke.

"So," I say as I stand now, "anything on your mind?"

"Quite a lot actually." he says to me and I know my head. I want him to speak more. I want this back and forth to finally be over.

I mean for Gods sake I almost died for this cause. It has to be for something.

"Say anything." I say quietly, ready for whatever words he chooses to say.

He looks at me deeply and takes a very long, drawn out, breath. His lips come to a firm line and his mouth opens to speak but nothing comes out. He does this motion twice before I believe he will let the words come out.

"I am so incredibly sorry for all of this. This is all my fault." he says softly, and my chest sinks.

"It's okay. I'm okay."

"It's really not." he says with a slight laugh but you can tell he finds nothing about any of this funny. "I am not good at this, okay. I never have been, I probably never will be, but right now I am going to try my very best to say this to you." he tells me and all of a sudden my heart beats so fast I can feel it in my throat.

"We've got a real story here ya know. Between all of the events from the moment I met you to now, this could be a book. You. You are like a book. With the way you walk, talk, and move. It's like you're not even real. I never thought that someone so breathtakingly beautiful, smart, and funny could ever love me enough to not just say it, but show it too. You put up with me. Even the bad parts you chose to love, and that right there is enough to make me say this a thousand times, and I'll say it all the more whenever you want to here it.. I love you Anika.  I am one hundred percent in love with everything that is you. And when I say everything, I mean everything. Right down to the way you dance when you're drunk, you have completely stolen my heart, and I don't even want it back."

My chest becomes overwhelmingly tight and my vision becomes blurry. Of course my overly emotional, ridiculous, sensitive ass is shedding tears right now.

The feeling in my stomach is very hard to explain. It hurts. It hurts so bad, but it hurts in the best way. The kind of pain you feel the night before Christmas or waiting for a social event that you get to dress up for. It's the feeling you get when your future is about to have a beautiful surprise. A lovely change. That stomach feeling is your body getting ready to adjust to what's coming next, and right now I feel it. I am blessed to feel it. It would only make sense that I would. I'm staring at my future right now. It's only fitting for the moment.

"Wow. That was pretty good for a guy who isn't 'good at this'" I say with choked words and a small laugh.

He steps so close to me now that we share the same breath. I can see every small detail on his face, and my heart becomes full. He holds my cheeks in his hands now, and kisses my forehead with such delicacy that I feel butterflies.

In that past I could never understand what people meant when they said that a person could make them feel full, complete. But his lips on my skin show me exactly what that feels like. He brings something to my being that I didn't know I was missing.

He looks into my eyes now, demanding the contact, and I feel the strangest sense of security. Like this right here is where I am supposed to be.

"You've got me forever."

"I sure hope so." I say, and I can no longer wait. I push myself up on my tippy toes and place my lips on his. He's still at first, but he quickly settles as his body encapsulates mine as I fall into him.

Have you ever done that? Kissed someone with such a fever for their love. And to have that. To know that feeling.

I find it to be a blessing.

He's a gift.