Changing Me

Chapter ten

Today is my family gathering for Christmas. The only difference we have, is we bring a lot of friends.

When my dad left, my mom didn't really have any motivation, and I know this holiday is going to be hard for her, so me and my little brother agreed to have a bunch of people over tonight to surprise her.

Something to make us all feel less alone.

We invited grandma and grandpa, and my mother was an only child, so the only aunts I ever had came from my dad's side and they stopped talking to us after dad left. We never understood why.

So Danny invited his best friend, Jackson, and his parents.

As for me, I invited all of my friends, but literally everyone but Sadie had plans tonight. Anna was going out with her mom on her only night off this week. Tanner is currently in another state on vacation visiting his grandparents. Jacob is also on vacation in, get this, freaking Hawaii.

Take me with you, I'm begging.

Sadie said she'd be over tonight, and the thought of Wesley occurred in my brain more than once.

I've been having a mental battle with myself since this morning.

I fixed up some Italian dish with noodles and cheeses and plenty of spices. To go with that I heated up some broccoli and chopped carrots. I'm not really the best at putting sides together, but I'm pretty sure garlic bread goes with the noodles, so I'm good.

My little brother helped by putting those, already cut up and rolled into a sleeve, Christmas cookies on a baking pan, and we're going to pop them in the oven after dinner.

"So," he says to me as he's trying his best to reach up to the corner and grab a noodle from the dish, "is that guy coming tonight? Your friend that was over here before?"

I look at him and my heart picks up a beat from his words.

"Uh.. I didn't think you even saw him that day." I tell him as I start putting the dishes on the table.

Mom doesn't know we're doing all this. She's taking a nap upstairs all dressed and ready to go thinking we're going out to the movies tonight.

"I saw him walk out that day. You looked upset. But then he came back and you looked happy again." His mind is so simple. I didn't even think he picked up on the little things. I didn't even know he noticed Wesley's presence.

"I didn't know you paid any attention to stuff like that." I tell him as I go to grab all the silverware and the good napkins we keep up.

"I don't. But I noticed you were happy." he says to me, and that comment makes me stop. I look at him, unable to fully believe he just said what he did. "He makes you happy doesn't he." he says to me once he finally gets a noodle and places it in his mouth, slurping it up like a worm.

"I.. I.. Danny go wake up mom." I say. I can't say anything else because the words just aren't there.

"Ok, I will, but is he coming? You never told me yes or no." he says as he's making his way to the stairs. He stops when he gets to the end.

He looks just like dad. The difference between Danny and him is that I don't think dad ever learned how to love without reason. Danny came out that way. Everyone and everything. Anything he could get his hands on, he loved it. Things were simple in his brain when it came to that kind of thing. That's why I could never have the heart to forgive dad for leaving a kid like that who would never understand why a person could pick up and leave the people they are supposed to love.

Right now, the image reminds me of the last thing dad said to me before he left.

"Dad! How long will this trip last?"