Jigsaw (NaNoWriMo13)

Thirty One

Wow, a long time coming I think! This is so nearly completed! I'm really going to miss writing this. But there will be a sequel so keep an eye out for that! Thanks as always for the votes/reads and comments, it means the world!

 “Hi, Leah speaking. I either can't come to the phone or just don't want to talk to you. Drop me a message and I might get back to you, or I might not. Probably not. So it's better to text me or something. Yeah, do that! Stay awesome!”

I sigh and leave my message. “Hey, Leah. It's Lily. I know you're ignoring my messages and for the millionth time, I want to apologize. I shouldn't have said those things. I – I'm sorry and you were right. Just call me please.”

It's Monday morning, exactly two days after I came home from The Cotswolds to find my flat turned upside down, one day since I told the police everything that had happened and exactly four days since I'd had a good nights sleep. Today, I'm supposed to be going back to work but every time I think about it, I get a tightening in my stomach that makes me feel as if I am going to burst into tears and vomit simultaneously.

I don't even know if Evan wants me there. There have been so many things left unsaid. So many things wrong since the last time we spoke. I don't know if Evan wants me anymore, if he wants me to go back to work or whatever. I just don't know what he wants. Any attempts to call or text have failed, and when I went round to knock on his flat, late yesterday evening my attempts were yielded a big, fat fail.

But there's no harm in trying. Evan won't just send me away when I get there; will he?

As I step out of my block of flats, the cold air hits me. Shivering, I pull my coat tighter around my body and bow my head against the wind that is battering my small body. Despite it being January, it is still freezing cold, perhaps even more so. Inky blue still streaks across the sky and a cold breeze ruffles the neat clipped hedges of the suburban houses as I leave my little estate and step into the posher side of town which will lead me to the plaza of shops where Evans café is.

The closer and closer I get though. The more I feel like I am walking to the gallows. My legs feel heavy like lead and my heart is racing pathetically in my chest. As the familiar tinkle of the café bell washes over me, I feel a strange sense of relief. It is as if the tinny sound has imbibed deep relaxation in me, as if it somehow connects me to Evan.

“Lily! You came back!”

My heart swells, hoping to see Evan, but instead I find myself looking into Leah's eyes. I try not to sag in disappointment as I look into my best friends eyes. Leah was right, I was getting too attached, too self absorbed. Confusion overrides disappointment and I stare at her suspiciously as she beams at me, her lip ring almost touching her nose.

“I... I came back. Um, Leah?”

Leah waves a dismissive hand and leans in for a hug. Hugging her back, I pat her back awkwardly, frowning when I feel the individual bones of her ribcage. Pulling away, I notice the heavy bags under her eyes and the pale complexion which even under layers of foundation and mascara is plainly obvious. Dismissing my worries for now; but making a mental note to talk to her later, I brush my hair behind my ears and just frown at her.

“Er, Leah. Did you get my messages?”

The bright, breezy smile slips from her crimson lips, and for a moment, I think she is going to cry. But then she shrugs and gives me a weak smile. “I got over it. I realised that I was a jerk to you. You're going through a rough time right now, so it's understandable how you're acting.”

Feeling my hear swell at Leahs words, I shake my coat off, feeling stuffy in the café which has its heating on full blast.

Evan isn't here then. He's strangely obsessive about things like cleanliness, and timekeeping and saving on electricity.