Not So Average Promise of an Average Girl - Taylor Lautner Fan Fiction

Chapter 5: Healing

Taylor Lautner Fan Fiction

Note: Sorry meant to update sooner but getting kinda busy again. Anyways, here's the next chapter! :)

Chapter 5: Healing

I hated to admit it, but now that my mom showed up things started to smooth out between Taylor and I too. Deep down I knew I never got over my dad's death, but I never wanted to admit it. Now I didn't have a choice. I didn't work on music. I just talked to mom a lot and sat outside with my camera. One afternoon I was sitting on a bench by the pond with my camera in my hand when Taylor sat down next to me.

"You okay?" he asked.

I wasn't okay and we both knew it, but I couldn't say it. I couldn't say anything. I just laid my head on his shoulder and continued staring out at the pond. 

"Lil, I know you're not okay, but can I say something?"

"Go ahead."

"You never dealt with it did you? I mean, I know you did at the funeral, but...after that?"

"No," I admitted, "I just wanted to forget about it. My dad and I already had a horrible relationship and I couldn't stand thinking about it any longer. I hated it. I hated the way things ended. I didn't want them to end like that! He didn't deserve to die!"

"No he didn't." Taylor put his arms around me and I moved closer to him. I felt his arm around my waist and he pulled me onto his lap. "You're right," he said, "he didn't deserve to die but sometimes horrible things happen to good people. Things that we are never going to be able to explain. I wish he hadn't of died too, but he did. You can't keep things bottled up inside you wishing you could change things because you can't do back. You can't go back in time and changed what happened to your dad. You just have to get closure and move on. Please.."

"But how? I've never dealt with a death like this before."

"I don't know. Everyone deals with it in their own ways. I can't tell you how to get closure or how to move on, but maybe your mom can. It seems to me that she needs a little bit of closure too."

"Taylor, I-"

He stopped me, "don't."

"No," I said, "I need to get this out. I was wrong before. I know I already said that, but this time is different. I feel horrible for the way I was acting. I'm scared. I don't want to deal with my dad's death because that means he's really gone and he's not coming back. I'm not ready to face that reality yet."

"Lily, you can do this. I promise you that. Things are never going to get better if you can't learn to accept the reality. I will be here forever to help you with that, but your mom is right up stairs. You both are having a hard time recovering from this and you need each other. So just go up there and get the closure you need."

I sighed, thinking of how to respond. Taylor was right of course. I do need to face this and my mom really does need me. And I need her too. I couldn't deny that either. Maybe it's time for me to stop denying everything.