When I See You Again

Everything Is Going To Be Okay

Jessica tears fell hard and fast down her cheeks; she knew it deep down that that's what her doctor would tell her this news. But still, she held on to some hope that she wasn't pregnant. Now, it was confirmed.

Dr. Wilson's smile faltered as she stared at Jessica as she broke down. Liam looked up Jessica with confusion on his tiny face and Sarah just stood where she was; her face had gone pale. Instead of comforting Jessica, Sarah sat down on the chair that was next to the exam table. She felt dizzy as she was now processing what she had just heard.

"I'm sorry Jessica. I thought this would be good news." Dr. Wilson said. "I thought that...you know after what you went through that you and Sarah were trying again to have another baby. I'm sorry."
Jessica just shook her head and said. "No. We weren't. I just had Liam five months ago. I was...I was just now adjusting to being back at home and trying to live life as normal as possible! I...don't know if I can do this! I...don't know....what...to do!"

Liam became distraught; his bottom lip stuck out in a pout and his eyes filled with tears as he could feel his mother's distress.

Sarah pushed away her inner turmoil and rushed to Jessica's side. She embraced her in a hug and began to comfort Jessica.
"Hey...shhhh. It's okay Jess. Everything is going to be okay." She said in a gentle voice. "We'll figure everything out later. For now, let's make sure everything is alright with you and the baby."

Sarah pulled away and held Jessica's face in her hands. She looked into Jessica's eyes and tried to convey all her love she had for her.
Jessica looked into Sarah's eyes and began to calm down. Sarah smiled a little and wiped away Jessica's tears with her thumbs then gave her a quick kiss on her lips.

"You okay?" Sarah asked after a moment.
Jessica sniffed and just nodded.
Sarah turned to Dr. Wilson and said. "Can we check on...can we check on the baby? And Jessica of course."
Dr. Wilson stepped forward; she had moved back into a corner of the room while they had their moment. "Of course." The doctor said softly.

While Jessica was examined, Sarah held Liam; he actually went with her without fight. Liam played with his toy keys and was content.

As Dr. Wilson dragged the transducer around Jessica belly, Jessica didn't look at the screen at first. It was only when she heard the heartbeat that she turned her head.

Jessica stared at the screen and saw her tiny baby. More tears rolled down her cheeks; she felt so conflicted; a part of her wanted this baby, but in another part of her she didn't want anything to with it. That part of her that didn't want the baby was winning as irrational thoughts plagued her mind.

She didn't understand why she was feeling this way; she wanted to forget what Evan did to her and she wanted to not have to think about him ever again. With Liam, Jessica could easily forget who his father was. Liam looked nothing like Evan; her genes were dominant and Liam looked like her. She thought she was done with Evan but he had managed to enter her life once again.

What if this baby looks exactly like him? If this baby does look like him, would I be able to look at my baby's face? Should I terminate? Adoption? All these thoughts were rushing inside her head. She finally managed to quiet the voice inside her head down. She now concentrated on what Dr. Wilson was saying.

"Now you are two months pregnant...I take it that, you conceived this baby when this cutie..." Dr. Wilson said as she pointed to Liam. "was three months or so? Well, there is no reason to worry, however, your body still needed to heal from your first pregnancy. Your age comes in to play here and I'm going to keep an extra eye on the both of you. I'm going to give you some tips and medication to help you have a smooth pregnancy."

All Jessica could do was nod; she couldn't speak. She felt so lost. Dr. Wilson went over a few things and gave her a prescription for prenatal vitamins and a few other medications before letting Jessica leave her office.

Once they were outside, Jessica stopped by their car and leaned on the passenger side as she sobbed. Sarah rushed to her side with Liam still in her arms.

Sarah wrapped her free arm around Jessica and Jessica wrapped her arms around Sarah. Jessica buried her face in Sarah's shoulder and continued to cry.

Liam furrowed his brow, not sure of what to make of this. After a few moments, Liam began to softly pat Jessica's head. He began to baby babble, trying to get her attention.

Jessica calmed a little bit and lifted her head up then quickly wiped her tears away. She put a smile on her face and said. "You want mommy Liam? Huh?"
Liam smiled back and reached for her; Jessica took him into her arms and cuddled him close to her. She looked at Sarah and said. "I'm going to go in the back with him. I need to be close to him right now."

Sarah nodded then opened the back door for her. Jessica got in then placed Liam in his car seat and buckled him in. She held his hand all the way home and didn't take her eyes off of him once. Could I do this? Could I look past my fears and have this baby? Whatever I decide to do, will Sarah stand by my side? Does she want this baby to come into our lives?

Jessica continued her inner monologue while Sarah worried about Jessica as she kept looking at her through the rear view mirror every few seconds. Sarah didn't know how to feel about this; she loved Jessica, there was no question about it. Liam was a shock to her and couldn't help but fall in love with their baby boy. He was already here after all; this new baby however, was not. She was ready for another child to come into their lives just yet.
Sarah was just getting back to her life again with Jessica and was just getting used to having two kids at home. If this was born,
Sarah felt that their lives would just be thrown back into chaos. Plus, if she was honest with herself, she was a little jealous. Jessica would be carrying the baby, Sarah had wanted to be the one to carry their baby. She knew she sounded selfish but she couldn't help it.

Oh Sarah. Why did you do it? You and Jessica would have been welcoming your baby into this world by now. Sarah thought to herself. No! If I had went through with it then I know I would lose Jessica for good this time once she out found that I...cheated.

Quick update! Sorry for any mistakes! Didn't have time to edit.