Sam pov.
I sat there frozen, Watching Colby walk out of the door. Was I really that bad of a friend, to make him feel like I didn't care?
I Sighed, and stood up. It's already too late to follow him, I should let him blow of his steam.
I decided I need to clean the bathroom up a bit.
I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bucket together with some other cleaning stuff and walked into the bathroom.
I cleaned the sink and threw away the razor. After that, I started cleaning the floor.
While cleaning I found something in the coner of the bathroom, a folded piece of paper and a bottle of sleeping pills. My eyes widened, wishing and praying it wasn't what I thought it was.
I grabbed the note and unfolded it as quickly as possible, a uneasy feeling settling in my stomach.
Dear Sam,
I just wanted you to know that it's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault but mine, I couldn't handle it sam. not anymore.
You remember my trip to Kansas to see my family? Yeah it wasn't as fun as I told you. I finally found the courage to come out to them, but they got mad. Dad punched me a few times but that's alright, I deserved it anyways.
I was going to tell you the day I came back home, but you were... busy.
It hurt me seeing you with someone else, someone else that made you happy and feel loved.
I wanted to be that person. I wanted to be that person so bad.
But I decided that i just had to suck it up and move on.
I never though it would be this difficult though, I really underestimated it.
I wanted to hold on I really did, thinking it would all just fade away eventually. But It didn't, it only got worse. People started to tell me what my parents told me too. How I was a waist of space, worthless, a faggot, stupid, unloved, unwanted, ugly, fat, not enough. I could go on but then this note would get to long. Anyways the things they said were true, I denied it for some time until I couldn't anymore. That's when the voice started talking. I really thought I got rid of them, but I guess not. They only say things that are true though, they're also the only one I still had at this point. It told me to cut, and I listened. I mean it wasn't the first time I did it, I used to cut al throughout high school but that's beside the point.
Remember how I used to tell you I wanted to dance with the angels.
It's time I'm going to.
I also used to say I would love you till I die, and I did.
Tell the fans I'm sorry, and the haters that they won.
Tell mom and dad that I don't blame them for not loving me, I stopped loving myself a long time ago too... I'm sorry.
Just know I will always love you.
I'm finally going to be happy again, without a care in the world.
I'm going to be with the angels, defying gravity.
Forever Yours,
Colby
At this point I was full on crying. He's going to kill himself?
I need to find him.
I grabbed my phone and dialed Corey's number, while running out of the apartment.
"Hello?" I heard Corey say.
"Call Jake, Aaron, devyn, brennen everyone. I think Colby is planning to kill himself" I said while crying hysterically.
"Wait what!?"
"I found him self harming in the bathroom he ran away, I found an note in the bathroom together with a bottle of sleeping pils. I read the note. COREY WE NEED TO FIND HIM, I CANT LOSE HIM!"
