Song: North- Sleeping At Last
Invite
"What do you want to know?" I asked.
Siguro kung alam niyang pinagkakatiwalaan ko siya ay baka matuto rin siyang pagkatiwalaan ako. Maybe he just needed some assurance bago siya mag-open about doon sa nangyari. His walls are just too strong and too high. I think even someone close to him can't even break it.
"Why were you crying that day I saw you on the staircase and why were you crying again yesterday?" He gave his full attention on me.
He really wants to know! Baka nga sobrang nabobother siya. Gaya ko, sobrang bothered din ako sa nangyari sakanila ni Cindy na hindi ko na naayos ang thesis ko at hindi pa ako nakapag-aral.
"I told you I lost contact with my family. Well I... I got their number from Ryan. Ryan has it all this time, ayaw niya lang ibigay sa akin. Well, ayoko rin naman sana nung una. But I wasn't expecting to see my sister in New York," I started walking. Sumunod naman siya sa akin.
"You went to New York? What happened?" He asked.
"Yeah, for Fashion Week. You see, we don't have this close relationship like most siblings have. So, of course, hindi naging maganda ang pangyayari. Marami siyang sinabi. Mostly something that you don't even want to hear from your own sibling. She even accused me of having a sugar daddy," I chuckled. "She thinks that I get to have these because I have a sugar daddy behind my back. But no, I get to have these because I'm working hard.
"I decided to call them since nagkita na rin naman kami ng Ate ko, baka nabanggit niya rin. The first phone call I made was answered by Caitlyn. She's my closest sister. It makes my heart flutter hearing her say that she's proud of me because I get to continue something that I really love. Then I told her about my upcoming graduation. I tried inviting them para naman hindi ako mag-isa on that special day. But then, I heard my dad spoke in the background saying that no one comes in their family." I look up para pigilan ko ang sarili ko na umiyak.
"Then I made another phone call hoping that they will agree this time. I was hoping for Caitlyn to answer the phone again but it was Dad who did this time. Sinabi ko sakanya na may chance na maging Magna Cum Laude ako. He asked me about the course that I am taking. Syempre, sinabi ko. Mabilis niya namang sinabi na hindi sila pupunta sa graduation ko dahil hindi naman 'yung course na gusto niya para sa akin ang kinuha ko. My Dad takes control of everything ever since I was born. He gets mad at me pag hindi ko sinusunod ang gusto niya.
"I'm so tired of pushing myself para sa mga bagay na hindi ko naman gusto for the sole purpose of making them proud of me. But still, lahat nalang ata ng gawin ko ay mali para sa kanila. I feel like I'm a walking failure. Both of my sisters have these achievements that made both of my parents proud. Pero ako... Sa lahat ng gagawin ko, I never got their support. Sobrang napagod lang ako at sobrang nasaktan lang ako kaya I separated from them. I wanted to prove that I can also achieve something.
BINABASA MO ANG
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