*Jessie*
It had now been two days and those two days haven’t been easy I have barley said two words, you know when your voice cant echo more than slight “hmms” that’s all I could manage at a push honestly it was like my head was going to explode just sat here all the time hoping that those little eyes would flicker open, but since the day I got here that day hasn’t come we have been here four whole days, that’s four whole days we’ve been praying for her to be ok, four whole days of not knowing what’s around the corner, four whole days without seeing Shaya. All of that was four days too long, Dan had been playing with my hair every time I’d get stressed, even after that sometimes. This past few days have been as hard for Dan as it has for me I know him well enough to know when he’s hiding what he’s feeling, he’s just trying to put on a brave face for me an he doesn’t have to. That and his family are here and he doesn’t like crying in front of them. My family aren’t here as they are all busy, babysitting or ill they were all on call, if anything per say did happen.. I was not prepared if anything did take a u bend. To be honest this is day by day crushing me inside and out I looked like a wreck and felt like it to. Danny’s mum must have noticed this because she was the one to speak up about it, and I didn’t want to discuss what I was feeling like, but Ailish is like my second mum now and she is kind of person that won’t let things go no matter what.
Ailish: Jess sweetie?
Jessie: Y-ea
Ailish: you don’t look well Hunny
Andi: I was thinking the same, you look like your gunna faint
Jessie: makes me feel so good about myself thanks guys
Ailish: I know darling but, I know how much your going to protest on this but you need to sleep you haven’t slept in nearly 5 days, even if it’s just resting your eyes on Dan for a little bit you need all your strength for when Rosie wakes up, she needs her mummy to be healthy
Jessie: no Ailish, I'm fine honestly I'm ok
Ailish: don’t lie to me Jessie
Jessie: I-
Danny: Babe there isn’t no point trying to cover it up I know you better than anyone and I know that your not ok, of course your not, I'm not and ill admit that but babe sleep please mums right please it’s killing me even more seeing you like this.
Jessie: but – what if she wakes up when I'm asleep, that’s what I'm scared of what happens then if I'm not there for her
Danny: babe if she did do you not think I would wake you up the second I saw her twitching I will babe please just rest your head on my chest ok, for me please?
I sighed heavily because I knew I wasn’t going to win I mean between Dan his mum and brothers and sisters, there was no point really in trying to protest none at all.
Jessie: fine, but promise me Dan make me this promise wake me up if anything happens please
Danny: look see Jess I can see here your slurring your words, ok I promise you on my life I will wake you up if anything happens
Jessie: fine
I leant back and placed my head in his chest, I was almost scared to close my eyes, in case when I opened them something bad would happen. But eventually I did drift off but something happened I didn’t want to I had the worst nightmare, bad dream whatever you want to call it.
(Jessie’s Nightmare)
I'm alarmed as there is a long beep from a machine and loads of doors are opening and closing people rushing around, I look to my left and see Rosie’s chest not falling and rising she’s just still Danny is crying and trying to pull me back trying to get closer to her to see what’s going on Ailish and his siblings also have tears streaming from there eyes and I'm screaming so loud as I hear the words “Clear” so many times they are all trying to push me and Dan out of the room Dan understands but I keep shuving forwards trying to be with my little girl, but they weren’t having any of it. Then it happened a doctor comes out and says “I'm so so sorry”.
(end of Jessie’s nightmare)
Jessie: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I scream out load I'm now shaking and crying so hard I can feel Danny rubbing my back and trying to calm me down but I cant even focus my eyes were still shut and I was oblivious to reality and that nightmare I felt dead inside. The only time I'm brought out of it is when I'm spoken to or should I say shouted at by Dan not in a mean way but the only way I could understand him through this pain.
Danny: JESS! BABY WAKE UP PLEASE, YOUR SACRING ME
Then my eyes bolted open and I broke down there and then Into Dans shoulder and I felt horrible I felt stupid but he hushed me and was rocking me like a baby, I turned around just to check Rosie’s still sleeping form on the bed that chest rising and falling that made me relax more than anything knowing she’s ok.
Danny: shhh, babe what happened
Jessie: it was so real
I cried into his chest and I heard him say “oh baby”
Danny: what happened
Jessie: S-she d-didn’t mak-e th-is
I cried and cried more as the words violently left my mouth but he just continued to rock me backwards and forwards repeating over and over “it will be ok “ that reassured me enough to know that for now it was going to be ok…for now that is.
A/N
Well I have a lot to say…
One I'm so so sorry for not updating last night forgive me, I wasn’t going to update tonight either but I felt bad and you guys didn’t make it easier well some of you anyway, thanks to the ones who have understood why. I have been writing this chapter since day before yesterday in bits but I'm that ill I cant focus. I've been to the doctor today and lets just wait and see what I get told from that. Please bare with me I'm ill and it’s hard when you are all bashing me do you guys think I want to be this ill do you think I want to disappoint you, if you think that then well….i don’t
P.S
Pop up if we were talking yesterday you guys calmed me down a bit and cheered me up and I need that now please
