The Worst

Relapse

Carnell

I still can't seem to fathom that Autumn actually came to my house tonight. I was finally ready to move on now this happens. I'm praying to God that I'm just high and I'm seeing things or maybe it's a dream. I go in the hall closet and grab a pillow and blanket and come back out to the living room.

Carnell: So um, you can sleep here on the couch tonight.

She looks up at me and gives me a slight smile through her tears.

Autumn:*sobbing* thank you Carnell.

I give her a half smile then make my way to my bedroom. I lay across my bed exhausted physically and mentally and I come across Bree's number still written on my hand. I smile at the thought of her and reach over on my night stand and save her number. I was hesitant to call her so I decided to send her a goodnight text.

Carnell: Hey Bree, it's Carnell, i just wanted to say goodnight beautiful and maybe I could take you out sometime? ;)

I sat my phone near by and waited for her response, but I looked up and Autumn stood in my door way.

Autumn: Carnell, can we talk please?

Carnell: What's left to say Autumn? I told you how I felt and you told me how you felt, end of story.

Autumn: See there's the problem, I don't know how I feel anymore.

Carnell: What?

Autumn: Carnell ever since I ran into the other day, I can't seem to stop thinking about what I did to you. I mean I treated you terrible and I was so unfaithful, and now I needed help and it's amazing how you were still there for me.  I've never had someone love me as much as you.

Carnell: Autumn, can you please not do this right now.

Autumn: Carnell I can't keep this in anymore. I can't believe it took me forever to realize it, but I love you Carnell.

At that moment I became completely mind fucked. This girl just seems to find a way to creep back into my life once I try to get rid of her. She walks over to the bed and sits next to me.

Carnell:*sigh* Autumn, there can't be an "us"

Autumn: Carnell please, I wanna fix things between us. I've never had someone as good as you in my life.

He she goes tempting me again. I've wanted this opportunity come around ever since we ended, but I can't give in, I just can't. I won't allow her to break me again.

Carnell: Autumn, I can't. We've been through a lot, but our time is up. Now I'll be here for you as a friend, but that's all we can be.

She gives me a seductive look then moves closer to my ear.

Autumn: *whispering* What about friends with benefits?

Here was the other down side about Autumn. She knew all my weaknesses. Having her this close to me and it being so long was so not good. She knew I was weak and she knew I still wanted her. I was trying my hardest not to give into her tempting ways. Her lips moved against my ear as she began to speak again.

Autumn: Just let me fix it Carnell, I should've treated you better.

Her lips move down from my ear and to my neck. My self control was growing real thin.

Carnell: Autumn...

Her lips pressed against mine and i just lost control. Next thing I know she's on top of me and our lips are moving in sync.

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*Next day*

Bree

I woke up this morning really happy, something that hasn't happened in a while. I looked over at my phone on the night stand and saw it blinking green. I typed in my pass code and saw it was a text message from Carnell. He texted me saying good night and he even asked me out! I got all these butterflies in my stomach as I thought about what I should text back.

Bree: good morning Carnell , where and when? :)

I started getting excited about what could possibly happen between me and Carnell. He is so fine and he seems really nice. I think I'm ready to start dating again, but I don't want to rush things like I did with Chris. I get dressed and head to the mall and meet up with Raven for some shopping.

Raven: Ok Bree, who is he?

Bree: What are you talking about?

Raven: Oh come on, you've been looking at nothing, but cocktail dresses and stilettos, now I know you like to dress up for work and everything, but I doubt you'll wear that. Now who is this dude that you trying to give a heart attack?

Bree:*laughs* His name is Carnell.

Raven: Wait, Carnell as in Kelly's brother Carnell?

Bree: I don't know, we haven't really talked that much yet.

Raven: Well if it is, I'd be careful Bree.

Bree: What? Why?

Raven: Well, Carnell can be a little unstable when it comes to relationships so I've been told.

Bree: What do you mean unstable?

Raven: Well I heard he was with this one girl and he was like in love with her. I mean the whole 9 yards, he was gonna marry her, but then something happened and they weren't together anymore. Like Carnell was so heartbroken and depressed he couldn't do anything. He hasn't been right since.

Bree: I think were talking about completely different Carnell's because this boy seemed far from depressed when I talked to him yesterday.

Raven: Hey, there are people that can be on the verge of nervous breakdowns and you wouldn't even know it because they can fake a smile everyday and pretend like everything's ok.

Bree: Well that is kinda true...

Raven: All I'm saying saying is be careful Bree, I don't want you to get your hopes up and then be heartbroken.

At that point I kinda started to think about what Rae was saying. I mean I know nothing about Carnell so I shouldn't expect so much from him yet. And trust me I know exactly what heart break is like, I'm never going down that road again. I just gotta keep some of my guard up to know whether he's worth letting in.

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Carnell

I wake up and I actually feel great for once. I'm not tired or hungover from the night before which is something different. I look to my left and I immediately fall out of bed. What the fuck! It was Autumn sound asleep in my bed. Holy shit. We didn't... We couldn't... Could we? I got up then I started shaking her.

Carnell: Autumn get up! Autumn get up!

Autumn:*yawns* What baby?

Carnell: No, no, no, no, no! Tell me we didn't have sex last night!

Autumn: If I said that, I'd be lying. You don't remember last night Carnell?

Carnell: Fuck!

I really tried to replay last night in my head but I could barely remember a damn thing.

Carnell: Ok wait hold up, the last thing I remember is you came here because you got in a an argument or something and needed a place to stay. Then some where in between you end up in my bed??

Autumn: Carnell I told you how I felt about you and you obviously still feel the same for me.

Carnell: Autumn no, I can't, I've moved on.

Autumn: So then why am I sitting in your bed right now?

I hate to admit it, but a part of me still loves her. As much as I want her gone, I'm still longing for her to stay. These feelings got me fucked up man.

Autumn: Well I should get going now. I'll see you later.

She kisses my cheek then goes to get dressed. I sit in the bed and burry my face in my palms. What the fuck is wrong wit me?! I look over at my night stand and see my phone light blinking. It was a text from Bree about an hour ago asking where I wanted to take her for a date. I'm so caught up right now, bruh it's not even funny…