The Worst

Vulnerable

-Bree

Seeing Carnell standing at my front door completely threw me off. I mean I was thinking about him ever since Raven told me the news about Autumn, and now I just feel so bad for him.

Carnell: I need to talk to you, please.

He looked at me like he'd been crying for hours with his eyes all red and puffy, God I hated seeing him like this.

Bree: Of course, come in.

I lead the way to the living room and he took his jacket off and placed it beside him.

Carnell: Bree, I um, I have some bad news.

Bree: Carnell you don't have to say it, I heard and I'm so sorry.

At this point he completely broke down and covered his face as he cried. I have to say I've never seen him so vulnerable. I grabbed a tissue box and sat next to him and pat his back as he sobbed.

Carnell: Sorry, I'm such a mess right now. It's just you're the only one that really gets what I'm feeling right now you know? I feel like you're the only one that will really understand me and what I'm going through.

Bree: Carnell there's no need to apologize for your feelings. Just know I'm here for whatever you need regardless of what happened between us. No matter what, you'll always have a place in my heart.

He cracked a smile and pulled me into a hug.

Carnell: Bree there's something that's been bothering me for awhile now and I need to get it off my chest.

Bree: okay, go ahead.

Carnell: I still love you. No, I'm still IN love with you.

Well that escalated quickly. I scooted to the other side of the couch and tried to find the nicest way to say what was on my mind.

Bree: Carnell so much has happened today, and your emotions are all over the place so I understand if you wanna tell all the people you care about that you love them.

Carnell: No Bree, it's not because of that! Losing Autumn today it made me realize how short life is and if I really care about someone I shouldn't wait until tomorrow to tell them how I feel, I should do it right now and in the moment because tomorrow's not promised. Now I love you Bree and I've tried so many ways to fight it, but I don't want to anymore.

Bree: Carnell I don't think right now is a good time to be discussing 'us' or what we used to be. Right now you should take time to grieve and don't make any drastic decisions. Besides, didn't you just move in with another girl?

Carnell: Sienna? Oh shit, Sienna.

Bree: Yea, I think you should head home to her before you say something else you might regret.

He got his coat and I started to walk him to the door.

Carnell: Bree I meant what I said.

Bree: And I meant what I said, you have too much going on right now and you just need to take time to run through the motions.

Carnell: Yea, maybe you're right.

Bree: I know I am, but seriously if need to talk or anything I'm still here for you Carnell.

Carnell: smiles Thanks Bree.

Bree: smiles No problem.

He goes in for a quick hug, but once we pull apart we just stand there looking each other in the eyes. His big brown beautiful eyes, God he's so beautiful.