Behind Every Smile

Colin Can't Win

Hazy streaks of light. A fan spinning endlessly. A pair of piercing blue eyes. This is what I woke up too.

I was in a bedroom in Parker's house.

My head lifted up off he pillow uneasily, a dull wave of pain running up my neck.

I had nothing but undergarments on, which lead me to wonder where the rest of my clothes went.

"I wouldn't move too much," A woman cooed, watching me from the end of the bed.

I recognized this woman to be Parker's mother; her soft blonde hair, her partial Russian accent, and bright blue eyes.

I was a little unsure by what she meant till I further examined my body, noticing most of it was covered with ice packs.

"W-Why did you-" I could hardly enunciate my words. "Parker told me you stood up for him." She explained, setting the bloodstained towel in the small bucket beside her.

"He..stood up..f-for Kyle," I told her, trying not to stutter too much.

The woman tilted her head, "Who?"

"A friend," A said simply, too exhausted to explain fully what had happened.

The woman nodded slowly, lifting up one of the ice packs against my lower waist, revealing a dark bruise, teeth marks scattered down my side. I flinched, feeling the weight being lifted off my bruise.

"It looks much better than It did before." She told me, inspecting the marks closely.

"Did..that boy-" I shook my head nervously before the woman could start asking me questions. "P-Please, don't..tell..anyone." I begged her.

"Why not?" The woman's eyebrows furrowed.

"Please..I don't want..anyone to know." I tended entirely, hoping she'd listen.

"Are you embarrassed?" She asked me, quite confused by my answer.

"Y-Yeah. You...could say..say," I sighed, flinching as she put the ice pack back over the side of my waist.

"Alright," The woman huffed, standing up, casting a worried glance at me.

"T-Thank you," I added, glaring back at her, trying to grin.

"Thank you for standing up for Parker." The woman told me with a small grateful smile.

It was then I noticed Parker standing by the door, listening to our conversation. The woman seemed to notice my gaze move, turning around to face Parker.

"You can come inside now, she's awake." The woman gestured Parker to enter the room with a soft grin.

I watched Parker shyly step towards me, his eyes looking down at the floor.

"Parker?" I called for his attention, patiently watching his teary eyes gaze right into mine. "Why did you stand up to Colin?" I asked him, trying to understand what went on. Parker shrugged his shoulders, looking back down at the ground with a soft sigh. "Please, you can tell me. I won't get mad." I assured Parker knowing clearly he was hiding something.

"Yes you will," Parker mumbled, refusing to look at me again. "Parker, I promise." I told him, eager to find out what he was hiding from me.

With a heavy sigh, Parker let his shoulder slump over. I knew right then it wasn't good news.

"Earnie," Parker said simply, raising his head to watch my reaction. "What about him?" I asked, a little concerned about what Earnie has been telling him.

"He..said something about you-uh..." Parker hesitated to go on, looking as if he were struggling to explain something on his mind. "He said he saw you..with these boys..they were uh-" Parker started to stutter nervously, struggling to finish his sentence. My heart thrusted against my chest, knowing what he was trying to say.

"Earnie was there?!" I gasped, in disbelief of Parker's words.

With hesitation, Parker continued to explain what Earnie had told him. "He said..he 'didn't have a choice'..or something like that."

That was hard to believe. Why would Colin make Earnie watch? It seemed like a pretty twisted thing to do to someone I hardly knew. Which lead me to question who else knew about it-seeming Parker found out behind my back.

"Who else did Earnie tell?" I asked Parker, growing more and more concerned and worried. As I feared, Parker didn't know.

What If everyone at school knew? What If my friends knew? What if Colin's mother told everyone she knew I beat up her son? What if Colin lied and said I was bullying him for months? Who would believe me if I tried to argue against it? Especially if Colin's mom witnessed me injuring Colin. No one knew but Colin and I, until now.

Now I understood Colin's plan. He knew I'd try and revolt. Especially after injuring Kyle. He didn't fight back so it made it look like I was the bully, just so everyone could see he wasn't a bad person after all. This was his way of getting back at me. He knew I'd break the rules. The question was, would this game ever end? Was there actually a way to get out of it?

My mind went into a state of complete panic. "H-He tricked me," I stuttered in fear.

Parker tilted his head with a confused look. "How?" He asked me.

"Colin wanted this fight to happen. It was all a set up. I was too blind to realize it." I explained, knowing Parker probably didn't quite understand what I meant. "Colin can't win. Not after what he's done." I continued to mumble, trying to think of a way I could possibly end this fight without telling anyone else about what's been going on.

Of course, I felt pretty bad for Kyle. I never wanted him to get hurt. I never wanted anyone to get hurt from the choices I made. I never wanted any of this to happen. All I ever wanted was someone to tell me things would be okay. All I ever wanted was someone to talk to who understood, and could keep a secret. All I ever wanted was a friend. Someone who cared just a little bit about about me. Someone who would feel grief if they hurt me instead of pleasure. Someone who would tell me about their day just so I can forget how mine went just for a few seconds. That's all I ever wanted. Somehow a friend was the hardest thing in the world for me to have, and keep.

I found myself crying yet again while in my trance of thoughts. Parker was watching me, probably unsure of how to help me.

"I have to find out who else knows about this." I told Parker, watching his eyes look away right after. "I need to find my friends and see if they know about this." I went on, determined to find them at school at some point and find out myself before summer began.