Behind Every Smile

You Can't Win Every War

You might be wondering if Colin ever got in trouble for all the times be picked on someone. To keep it simple; no. Unfortunately, not everyone faces the consequences of the decisions they make.

You might be wondering why I never wanted anyone to know about this horrific situation I was in. That on the other hand requires you to understand my peculiar prospective of things.

I didn't want to tell any adult in fear of what they might think or say. As most people tend to phrase it; I was afraid of being judged. Considering past events, I was afraid to tell anyone anything. You could say I have trust issues.

You could say I have MANY issues. If you couldn't already tell.

Enough of me, what about everyone else?

Kyle eventually moved out a few months later, and even to this day, has kept my story a secret.

Parker and Earnie also moved out of the neighborhood not to long after Kyle.

Colin on the other hand, at this time, I still had unfinished business with him, and was determined to end the fight one way or another. With or without anyone by my side.

Why would I go back? After all he's done, why would I ever want to see his face? After all those months of him beating the life from me. I knew exactly what I was going to say. I knew exactly what I was going to do and how. I needed to prove to Colin's parents what I did to Colin had purpose. I had a plan.

"Please, hear me out. Just this once. You'll never have to see me again." I begged, by the disgusted facial expressions Colin's mother gave me, I could tell I was the last face she wanted to see. With a silent nod, Colin's mother stepped to the side and gestured her hand for me to enter her house. I could already hear Colin's voice from the kitchen, "Who's there?"

I glared at Colin as I stepped inside the kitchen, seeing him sitting at the table with an ice pack being held against his forehead. He still had marks and bruises on his face from where I hit him.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" He groaned, his fingers curling tighter around the ice pack.

"Go upstairs," His mother told him calmly, probably knowing the two of us would probably argue if we were in the same room together. With an impatient groan, Colin stood up and walked past me, stomping up the stairs and slammed a door shut once upstairs.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?" Colin's mother asked, cocking an eyebrow as she stood in front of me, impatiently crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, looking down at the ground.

"You should be." She scoffed, shaking her head in disgust.

"I never should have hit Colin. I was just protecting the kid he was picking on, and my friend." I explained, looking up at Colin's mom gasped in disbelief. "My boy would never pick on anyone!" She snapped, giving me a hard glare.

"Colin says he has never laid a hand on Parker, or anyone at school! If he did, I'd know about it. So I'd appreciate it if you could stop spreading these false rumors about my son!" Her voice grew more stern as she spoke, just as Colin did when he was furious with me.

I was completely shocked that not even his mother knew about all the kids he's picked on. Tears were already filling my eyes.

"F-False rumors?" I choked, immediately feeling anger stream through me.

"Every single day, I go to school and get laughed at, punched, and pushed around, all for some stupid thing people think I did. I'll be lucky if I don't go home with a new mark somewhere on my body. I take the bus home, I get kicked around and teased just by doing absolutely nothing but sit quietly in the back of the bus. I go home, and cry for hours because I remember I have no friends and I can't seem to figure out why everyone hates me so much. Then I go to sleep, and have some god awful nightmare about death or torture. I wake up choking on my own tears, and the day repeats itself, over and over. Except, there's something you don't know. Everyday after school I come here, and do whatever the hell your son says just so I can pretend I have a friend. Just so he can leave the friends he took away from me in peace! Just so they wouldn't have to go through the hell your son puts me through!!" In pure rage I took off my shirt and threw it against the ground, tears streaming down my face as I watched Colin's mother glare at my bruised body.

No words needed to be said for what was seen. The several bite marks, bruises, cuts, and scars, were all there to say everything.

"I'm sorry..for punching your son. But if you knew half of what goes on everyday. You'd understand. All I ever wanted was a friend. I guess that's too much to ask." I sighed heavily, grabbing my shirt off the ground and left without looking back.

That was the last time I ever stepped foot into Colin's house.

Knowing Colin's mother, she probably thought the marks on my body were from someone else. I'll admit, some of them were, but I was trying to make a statement. There was no way I could've proven anything he did to me. Only Colin and I knew what went on. Surely Colin wouldn't speak the truth.

Sometimes you can't win every battle. You can walk away. Which is something I rarely do, but I didn't know any other way of dealing with this situation. Quite frankly I was done with it all. I didn't want any more time wasted on trying to explain to everyone what had happened, so I didn't.

I never spoke of it for the rest of the months I was in middle school. I didn't have any close friends to lean on, or to see at school. I shut myself completely from that day on. I didn't open up easily to anyone. I spent most of my free time by myself. I couldn't stand the thought of trusting anyone or being touched, even if it was a simple hug. I changed almost entirely. I convinced myself it wasn't possible to break out of the walls I had built around myself. That there was no possible way I'd ever trust anyone, especially a boy again. I was convinced everyone I was close to would end up hating me.

Then high school came along, and believe me when I tell you it was nothing as I expected it to be.