Behind His Facade

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Sawyer Gervaise Vanderwood's Pov

She never opened her eyes again.

And I never spoken a word,from that day.

She took my soul and heart with her.I died with her,I died with Flame.

And all I just can do is to live as a lifeless vampire.

"Sawyer.."I heard Horace's voice,but I kept my mouth shut.

I don't think,I could still look at them in the eyes.I'm such a failure.

Hindi ko nailigtas si Flame,tapos ngayon,nagpapaka-miserable ako.It's been how many years?50 years?!

Fuck it!50 years na akong nakakulong sa kwarto ko,at ganun na katagal magmula nang mamatay si Flame,and I'm still holding on to her promise that she'll come back to me,that we will be together soon.Maghihintay ako,kahit daan-daang taon pa ang magdaan,I'll wait,like what she promised.

Napaupo na lang ako sa sahig at sumandal sa kama.I stared at the ceiling while my tears keep flowing.

Bakit kailangang pati si Flame,mawala sa akin?Bakit kailangan n'yang mawala?Don't we deserve that bullshit,called happy ending?

Can we just live happily like those other stories?Those in books?Damn it!

Naikuyom ko na lang ang kamay ko.I grabbed the wine glass which is just a few inches from me and threw it on the wall.

Agad na nabasag 'yun at nagsitalsikan ang mga bubog.I felt some shards of it in my skin but the pain in my heart is just more painful than physical pain.

Physical pain can heal with treatment but,emotional,I don't think so.Cause there's more people who died because of severe emotional pain,at sana nga ganun na ang din ako.Sana nga,mamatay na lang din ako.

"Sawyer.."narinig ko ulit ang boses ni Horace sa labas ng kwarto ko pero hindi parin ako umimik.

I heard the door opened and her footsteps.

"Sawyer,you should stop this.Stop being miserable."narinig kong sabi n'ya.

Napailing na lang ako at kinuha 'yung isang botse ng wine sa tabi ko tapos tinungga 'yun.

"Sa tingin mo,matutuwa si Flame na makita kang ganyan?Stop being--"

"You don't know what I'm feeling,Horace.So stop,meddling with me."malamig na sabi ko sa kan'ya at itinungga muli 'yung bote ng wine.

"Yes,I know.We do feel what you're feeling.We are also hurt,Sawyer.Sa tingin mo,hindi kami nasasaktan sa pinaggagagawa mo sa sarili mo?!Look at yourself!Hindi na ikaw si Sawyer na kapatid nami--"

"Because he died!The Sawyer you all knew,died!"I yelled at padabog na binato ang bote ng wine sa sahig,dahilan para mabasag din 'yun gaya ng baso kanina."I died,Horace!I died!!"

Napaupo na lang ako ulit sa sahig at napaluha.I frustratedly ran my fingers to my hair.

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko!Sobrang sakit.I just want myself to die.I just want to be with Flame,now.I want ro be with her.I missed her so badly.

"Sawyer,alam kong nasasaktan ka parin.But,come to think of it,what if,hinahanap ka na ngayon ni Flame and you just keep on being miserable here in your room.Hindi ba dapat,lumabas ka,look for Flame,too.Cause you could happen to cross on each other's paths.Baka mahanap mo s'ya,mahanap n'yo ulit ang isa't isa.Hindi 'yung nagkukulong ka na lang rito.You need to think,Sawyer.Kung talagang mahal mo si Flame,kung talagang gusto mo s'yang makasama,you need to think of yourself first."

Naiwan ako rung parang natauhan.In was dumbfounded.

That's when I realized,I'm so shameless.

I should just move,too.I should find her,too.Tama si Horace.Masyado akong nabulag dahil sa kalungkutan.

That day,I cutted my hair on its original length,I shaved,and I went outside my room,my house where Flame and I should be living now with our children.

I sighed.

Tahimik lang akong naglalakad,doon ko lang din napansin na marami ng nagbago sa paligid.

Mas lumaki na 'yung school kung saan kami ni Flame pumapasok.I can't help but to remember such a beautiful memories.

Dahan-dahan akong umupo sa isang bench sa daan.I watched as people passed by,hoping that one of them is the girl I love.

Pero nagulat ako nang biglang may tumabi sa akin.

Nilingon ko s'ya at nakita ko ang isang batang babae,na kumakain ng malaking lollipop.

"Hello,kuya!Gusto mo?!"masiglang bati n'ya sa akin sabay bigay ng lollipop n'ya.

Tinignan ko lang 'yun at napangiti.

"No,sa 'yo na lang 'yan."

Napa-pout naman s'ya tapos nakita ko pang namula 'yung pisngi n'ya.She's cute.

"Kuya,ba't ka malungkot?"tanong n'ya.

I sighed and patted the head of the little girl beside me.

"May hinihintay kasi ako."

"Sino?!"masigla n'ya uling tanong.

"Yung babaeng mahal ko."malungkot na sagot ko.

"Huh?!Eh,nasaan ba s'ya pumunta,kuya?Gusto mo,hanapin natin s'ya?!Tutulungan kita kuya!"sabi n'ya kaya napangiti uli ako.

Napailing ako sa kan'ya."Malayong-malayo yung pinuntahan n'ya,eh.Hindi natin 'yun mahahanap at maliit ang tsansang babalik ulit s'ya."sagot ko and I felt my chest tightened.

"H'wag kang mag-alala,kuya!Babalik din si ate!Saka kung mahal ka n'ya rin,hindi ka n'ya pababayaang malungkot!"sabi n'ya habang nakangiti sabay dila sa lollipop n'ya.Napatango-tango na lang ako.

"You're right."

Tumingala ako sa langit at napahinga ng malalim.

I know she'll come back.

"Ah,kuya!Pasensya na,pero kailangan ko ng bumalik,eh!"sabi n'ya tapos nginitian ako ulit.Sa sobrang ngiti n'ya,halos hindi na makita 'yung mata n'ya,cute."Wag ka na pong malungkot,babalik po si ate!Maghintay lang po kayo!Ba-bye po!"then,nag-wave s'ya sa akin.

"Flame,bilisan mo,ano ba?!!"narinig kong sigaw ng isang babae kaya natigilan ako.

"Naku,tinatawag na ako!Ba-bye,kuya!"tapos tumakbo na 'yung bata paalis.

Naiwan na lang akong tulala run,and when I'm about to ran after her,hindi ko na s'ya makita.

Hindi ko alam,pero parang unti-unting nabubuhay ang pag-asa kong babalik s'ya sa akin.

Napatingin na lang ako sa direksyon na tinakbuhan ng bata.

Is she that kid?

Flame?

***

:)midnightangelixx