kiss me | 솝

5. rain

Today it was raining. I was on the coffee shop again and Seokjin told me I could leave already but I wouldn't because Hoseok promised me to come here later once he's finished his dance practice again.
I sat on some table since we had no guests and I had nothing to do and looked out of the window. There were raindrops all over the glass of the window, chasing each other. I remembered how I always used to watch the raindrops rolling down our car's windows when we were driving somewhere and it was raining.
It was beautiful and I loved thinking back to these days where I was young and I still lived with my family, even though it made me a bit sad. Good old times, huh?

I was interrupted from my thoughts when I felt someone tapping on my shoulder. I turned around and looked up, ready to kill whoever did that terrible thing to me because it really scared the shit out of me until I realized it was Hoseok. I smiled. "Hey you, long time no see!", I said and he grinned. "We met yesterday, Yoongi, did you really miss me that bad?"

I blushed and hid my face, hoping he wouldn't notice, because what he said was true - I missed him really bad, even though I just met him the day before. Honestly, what was wrong with me?

"Coffee and chocolate muffin, as usual?", I guessed what he was going to say or order next. He nodded and I got up to get him what he wanted. He didn't really notice me when I came back carrying the orders because he was holding his phone, probably texting someone. I noticed he looked a bit stressed, he was biting his lip and whispering a quiet "shit", then aggressively  typing something in his phone until he finally looked up to me, a charming smile playing around his lips. "Thanks", he said with a smile and I sat down on the opposite side of the table.

We talked about this and that, and he told me he liked the rain just as much as I did. We talked about our childhoods and how our lives were when we were younger until Hoseok's phone rang. "Jimin, I have to take it", he explained, then picked up the call.

"Hello Jimin- what? .... Oh yeah .... Right I'll-.. Yeah, I'll be just there ... I'll be there in ten, I love you ... thanks, see you then!"

He got up. "Sorry.. but I can't stay longer, Jimin needs me", he said, kind of forcing a smile. He paid for the coffee and muffin and left, I cleaned up the remains, said goodbye to Seokjin and went home.

It was still raining, but it was more of a light rain. It wasn't as beautiful as it was before because now I couldn't help but start focussing on my thoughts again, I couldn't block them out. It was nothing bad, to be honest. Just about how my heart felt to sink when Hoseok mentioned Jimin and then how broken it felt when he told him he loved him. I couldn't really explain it -- I didn't want to or I just didn't want to admit it.
I felt so bad for thinking that way - Hoseok had a boyfriend and they were clearly in love and, well, I was happy for them even though I got a bit jealous when I saw them or when Hoseok started talking about Jimin. The other part of me felt so happy because I finally met someone I could like and I literally liked all about him, he just seemed perfect to my eyes, in all his imperfections and I couldn't stop thinking about him even though I didn't even know him that long or well, I didn't even know his birthday.

But there was something I knew now, that I didn't really want to know to be honest. It kind of was destroying me but it felt so good at the same time.

I knew I was falling for Hoseok, I knew I shouldn't. But I did. And I loved and hated it.