kiss me | 솝

17. spilled tea

I thought the next time I would see Hoseok was the next day when he would come in the coffee shop again but surprisingly, I was wrong.

I thought he would spend the rest of the day with Taehyung since both of them had to.. I don't know, talk? But I was proven otherwise as I saw Hoseok walking down the street when I looked out the window and thought about life.

"Hoseok!", I yelled. The called one stood still abruptly and looked up. "Ah, Yoongi" I could hear him say since it was completely quiet outside. It was almost scaring; we lived in Seoul, it just can't be completely quiet.

"Want to come upstairs?", I asked and he said "Umm.. no but thanks, I.. need to go somewhere", hesitating. Well, I couldn't force him, could I?

If he wouldn't have been that far away I probably would have noticed the tears that were drying on his face and how he didn't look okay at all. But, well, I didn't.

What I did was to receive a call coming from no other than Hoseok ten minutes later who was sobbing and sounding like he had a mental breakdown or soemthing. I felt so bad for not being beside him.

"Hoseok, what's wrong?"

"I.. I don't know it's just.. *sigh* I may have been overthinking and .. I kind of got lost in the thoughts I am always trying to shut out but I just can't and especially not right now and it feels like I'm-.. Drowning or something. Or suffocating."

"It's okay, you can talk to me whenever you want to, I-"

"No, no, it's not okay. I, I mean I'm not okay.. it's bad. Please.. Promise me you won't leave ne here right now?"

"I promise. Where are you right now, Hoseok? I.. I'm slightly worried about you."

"No, please, don't worry about me, no need to waste all of that on me I.. I'm in that park down the street, I think you know what place I mean, it's like a walk of three minutes away from your house"

"Do you want me to come there or do you want to come here?"

"I.. What? Oh, uhm.. I'll be there in ten just don't.. worry about me. And thank you, Yoongi."

He was there five minutes later, knocking on the door quietly and hesitating. If I didn't spend the time since the phone call standing at my apartment's door waiting for Hoseok, I may would not have been abled to hear it.

I opened the door and let him go in. It hurt seeing him looking that broken, with tears in his eyes, on his cheeks, still sobbing quietly.
When I closed the door, I pulled him into a hug. To be honest, the only reason I did that was that I didn't know how to comfort people when they were sad. I just couldn't handle it. But it felt right and I felt how he held on to me like I was saving him from drowning.

I didn't ask him what exactly happened, I thought it might break him even more. So I just let him talk about how he was feeling at the moment and .. his feelings in general.

"I am really sorry to bother you right now", he started, "it's just.. I started thinking about some stuff happening in my life and then Jimin came to my mind and with him my parents and old friends and everyone else who left me and I realized that I completely understood why they did that. I am such a disappointment to everyone, I wonder why you even talk or listen to me in first place. Trust me, you deserve having much better people in your life than me. But.. after everything, you and Jimin were the only one's to be abled to make me smile, how weird that might sound. It was like you two were pulling me out of the lake I was drowning in, you know? And then, Jimin, the boy I fell for, the boy I fell in love with.. just left me. It felt like I was something that needed two people to be pulled out of the water I was drowining in but the one person just gave up on me and it hurt so much, I was falling down again and I wished I would never fall for someone ever again and now you're here and I am so sorry that you have to have me in your life."

I shook my head, tears crawling out of my eye. "Hoseok, it's okay.. but I need you just as much as you might need me and I hope you know that now because I have to admit, sometimes it's hard for me to show others how am I feeling or what am I thinking" and I pulled him into a hug again, hoping I was helping and if it was just a little bit but I wanted to make him hold on to something even if it was just me because I'd be holding onto him.

"Do you want to drink something?" I asked and he nodded, asking for a cup of tea which I made for him.

Then, I handed him the cup and sat down in front of him, facing him. "Did any of this have something to do with Taehyung? I know he said he wanted to talk about something important with you, I-"

And he spilled his tea.

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sorry for bot updating yesterday, i didnt have a second chapter prepared and idk i just can't publish chapters withput having a second one prepared. and i wasn't home all day so.. yeah, i hope that's okay