Forbidden Secrets (Completed ✅)

Thirty Six

"Jordan, believe me you are going to wake up tomorrow with a big sigh of relief because I am not there to remind you of the monster that is constantly chasing us" she said brushing a hand down his damp face.
"I will never in my life be relieved that you aren't beside me"  Jordan rasped turning  away.
Steph  sighed in frustration again. This was just going in circles like they always did. This fight had no beginning and no end. It was time she created an end herself. She checked her watch again. It was time and she had to go. She rubbed his face and took it in one last time as if she would never see it again.
"Stephi, I always thought we were great together" Jordan told her as she turned to leave.
"Jordan, you were always the great part of us," Steph  lifted  her shoulder  with a lopsided  grin

"I was just the one standing beside you" she turned away from Jordan  as she  looked up at the black sky "one that  can always be replaced" she said emotionally as the tears ran like rivers down her cheeks. She didn't pause for a response as she walked back into the bar, hurriedly snatched up her bag and sped off to the waiting cab.

Bubba was holding the door for her as she quickly stormed out. She would have completely missed him if he hadn't grabbed her arm.
"Keep in touch" he said knowingly to her tear ravaged face.
She stopped immediately and put a hand to her mouth
"Oh god Bubba, I am so sorry" Steph sobbed  through short gasps.
He went to grab her up in his arms but she stepped back.

Recognizing her determination he reluctantly moved a step back away from her."Look" he said after a deep breath "do what you have to do but don't make me come looking for you" Bubba told her  with a playful wag of his finger in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Steph  laughed feebly through her tears with a squeeze of his arm. "I will let you know where I am once I get there"
"I am really sorry about earlier" Steph apologized again  still squeezing but looking down at the sidewalk in agony.
He just waved his hand in a don't worry about it gesture and she thought she saw tears swim into his eyes before he turned his head away.
The cabby beeped his horn annoyingly.
"Gotta go Big Guy" she said leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.
"Please...." she began but Bubba cut her off
"As long as he is paying me I will worry about him, no matter how stupid he acts" Bubba assured with a light touch of her cheek that threatened to unbalance her flimsy composure.

She forced herself to walk away towards the waiting cab. Her conviction wavered and she stopped, turned and locked eyes with him. She felt every emotion wave through her. She just had to do this she reminded herself and without another word she turned back and quickly got into the cab. She looked around to watch him as the cab drove away into the misty darkness. He stared after her for a moment and then just hung his head. That was the last thing she saw of him when the cab turned the corner, Bubba in his expensive suit crying at the sidewalk. Jordan stood on the patio in complete disbelief. He didn't know what to do. He actually turned to rush after her and then stopped himself. She was gone. He  lost her.  All of it was thanks to that fucking bitch. He curled his hands into fists. Why did he have to make that stupid comment about Steph? All he was worried about was keeping Evelyn happy so she wouldn't bitch at him relentlessly. He never even considered Steph's feelings. Jordan  wanted to pound something. He wanted to.... he didn't know what he wanted anymore. Emotions seemed to engulf him and he felt nauseous with the surge. His head was spinning as he  felt the rise of bile in his throat.  Falling  to his knees with weariness, Jordan ran  his hands over his tired face and rammed them through his hair sending it in every direction. He wanted to scream, no he  wanted to just curl up in a ball right there and die. Jordan slowly got to his feet feeling all the weariness of his years weighing on him. His life was a complete mess. One of the few people that gave him true happiness in his life up until now had just walked out and he wasn't sure if he could ever get her back. He went to the balcony ,gazing down at the street. Somewhere out there the distance between them was steadily growing as Jordan   felt their bond slipping helplessly through his fingers. He reached into his sweaty jeans pocket and pulled out the small silver  S he always kept with him. It shown in the lights like a talisman. The tears flooded  his eyes as he remembered the morning he took it from her. She never knew and she had never asked about it. It was so obvious that she had no clue what she meant to him. How he so desperately needed her. Why hadn't he ever told her? He barked out a small laugh with no real feeling behind it. Maybe for once he just couldn't put it into words. He couldn't believe Steph thought that she was just a shadow to him. She actually thought that she was just someone who stood beside him and could be replaced. He groaned in complete frustration. He was different now in every conceivable way because of her and what her love gave him. Jordan  pulled out his cell phone and stared at her number on the screen. He wanted to call her,  to beg her to come back but he knew in his heart that it wouldn't be fair. She was right, he needed to straighten out his life once and for all. He was done with Evelyn, he had never been more done in his life. Now all he had to do was to insure the bitch got what she deserved and the life he had built wasn't left in ruins. He slid the S back into his pocket. The exhaustion was catching up with him. He figured that he would use his long trusted escape, sleep. He turned and went back through the bar. He didn't even register the glances from the people sitting around. He met Bubba on the way to the elevators and his heart lightened.

"Did you see....?" Jordan began with excitement
"Yeah" Bubba said wiping at his face. He didn't look up and the small flicker of hope died as he heaved a heavy sigh. Still not looking at his face Bubba threw his arm around Jordan and walked into the elevators.
"Bubba.... I ....." Jordan began
"Listen J, it will all work out eventually" Bubba said heavily staring at the polished floor.