Forbidden Secrets (Completed ✅)

Forty

"Steph Jordan  loves you" Lexi reminded her  for what must have been the millionth time.
"Just stop" Stephi said heatedly "he doesn't or this wouldn't have happened"
"Bullshit" Lexi said and Stephi actually stepped back at her tone of voice "that is total bullshit and you damn well know it" Stephi couldn't believe what she was hearing. Maybe Lexi had finally reached her breaking point.
Lexi took a deep breath and put her hands on her shoulders "Stephi I can only do so much for you and I think I have reached that point" she smiled at Stephi's concern "I love you and will support any decision you make in your life but you have to know something" she took her hands and squeezed them as Stephi cried silently "Absolute true love only comes around once in this life and if you're too stubborn or stupid to see it for what it is then you don't deserve it" she squeezed her hand one last time and walked away from her as she cried at the security gates. 

Jordan was just going through the motions of life rather than really living it. He hung his head in his hands.
"It will get easier" Joe said patting his shoulder
"When" Jordan said sarcastically as he raised the glass to his lips
Chad walked in and scowled down at him.
"Listen J, you need to cool it with the drinking its starting to show" Chad sneered  reaching for Jordan's glass
"Touch it and die" Jordan threatened   with out even raising his head.
"Jordan come on" Chad huffed
Jordan finished what was in the glass and handed it to him with a smirk

"Happy?" he snapped

"At least you can walk" Chad mumbled
Jordan spun around as the fury raced through him

"You are fucking lucky that I am doing this at all so you need to get over it" Jordan  hissed   as he slammed out the door.

"What am I going to do with him?" Chad asked anxiously  looking over at Joe
"I have no idea but he needs something, he's so lost" Joe said shaking his head.
"women" Chad huffed  throwing up his hands.
Jordan made his way through the show again just like he always did. Some shows he stumbled a little, others he forgot a few words but all in all he was handling his alcohol intake pretty well. He knew he shouldn't drink before shows. It hurt his performance not to mention brought up way too many emotions. That was  the hardest part. Performing the songs that she loved. He finally got to the point where he just couldn't do it any more. He refused to perform the songs that she loved. Of course she had loved all of his music but the ones that were special to her, to them he amended, he just couldn't do it anymore with out breaking down.
"You did good tonight" Bubba said as they left the venue
"Yeah only one stumble" Chad added sarcastically as they got into the car
"Don't push your luck" Jordan spat at him as they made their way to the hotel.
He got up to his room and fell down in the bed. He lay looking at the ceiling for the longest time. Jordan  reached over for the bottle at the night stand and turned it up into his mouth not even bothering to use a glass. The clear alcohol sent a stream of fire down his throat and into his chest. He had hoped he had drank enough tonight to send him into an unconscious sleep but he guessed the performance had worked some off. He got up and went out into the hall. Another town, another night out on the streets he thought as he pushed out of the hotel lobby doors and out onto the street. He hadn't wandered around in the middle of the night since he was a part of the group. Now he couldn't quiet his mind down enough to sleep even if he drowned it in alcohol. He pounded the streets wandering aimlessly thinking about where his life went wrong. He had finally become man enough to file the seperation papers with Evelyn and she had blown a gasket. He didn't think he had ever seen her so mad. Of course she had threatened to take everything he had but for some reason he found he didn't care. He had been so concerned about loosing everything and now that Stephi had left him, he felt he already had. It had taken her leaving him standing on a balcony to see what he was doing. He was trying to have it both ways at her expense and he cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. He stopped at the entrance to a park and sat down on a bench. He looked up into the sky and wondered where in the world she was. It had been two weeks since they had split and he had been trying to find out what was going on but no one would tell him anything. Chad had emailed Laura and Lexi several times about her but they wouldn't say anything except that she was fine. He had left her messages, texts and emails with no response. He didn't know what he had expected really but he though she would at least let him know she was ok. His career was doing well dispite his attitude toward it. The album was still climbing the chartts and he had definitely moved up in the scale of his shows. He knew that was partially due to the fact that Joe was now touring with him increasing his draw of fans but he was well on his way of moving back on top. That was because of her, his mind reminded him. He knew that. She had done her job fabously and helped put him back on top. He hung his head again. It seemed so heavy with emotion. He needed her so bad. He need her just to exist. He knew that right now her just being on the earth would have to do for him. His heart ached with pain as he looked back up at the sky. She always loved the night sky. The stars, they were her favorite and she always commented on them.