His Past, Her Present, Their Future

You Should've Known Better

"When I say that I love you...you mean it" ―Danielle

Danni

August 1995

New York

    "I don't understand ma, why do I gotta live with Grandma Tate? You know she does not like me." Ten-year-old Danielle cringed at the thought of moving in with her grandmother and her creepy boyfriend, who is twenty years her senior.

    "D, can you just be quiet for once and do as I say." Danielle's mother, Yolanda, given birth to her only child, Danielle at an early age; age fourteen. Yolanda is more of a sister to Danielle than a mother. With all honesty, Yolanda treats Danielle like a sister, versus being that actual mother figure that she needs.

    "Really ma, so you just gonna ignore me? Here I am about to have a damn breakdown and all you do is tell me to shut up." Yolanda managed to raise her daughter in the suburbs; a nice two-bedroom home, a home that is not necessarily in the hood but not in those rich neighborhoods. With a low budget job as has cleaning hospitals, Yolanda barely has enough to make ends meet. In came Danielle's potential father/ the neighborhood's biggest player/pimp, Ronald 'Big Ron' McCullough. When Danielle turned six, she had to fend for herself. She had to learn how to cook her own food, wash her own clothes to the best of her ability, and learn how to ride the bus to all of her destinations.

    "Little girl, if you don't get your lil pissy ass out my face, I'mma bust you in ya damn mouth; little smart-ass bitch. Hurry the fuck up like I said before." Little Danielle mugged her mother all the way towards her bedroom. She bypassed her mom's 'boyfriend' and did what she was told. She packed the few belongings that she had and stuffed in into five large black trash bags. Most of her clothes is either too small or too dingy to her grandmother's liking. Either way, Danielle literally had nothing but the clothes on her back.

    "Stupid bitch." Danielle mumbles under her breath, referring to her mother. She always had a dysfunctional relationship with Yolanda. Danielle tried building a bond with her mother, yet her mother kept distancing herself.

    "Is that right?" Yolanda caught Danielle by surprise. However, Danielle did not flinch one bit. "After all I've done for your little ungrateful ass, and you have the nerve to talk shit. Bitch you ain't shit but ten-fucking-years-old. What bills do you pay in this bitch? What food do you provide? What about the free water you use? My fuckin' A/C? How about that bed you sleep in every night? The clothes that you wear every night? So...you don't do shit around this bitch, and somehow I'm the bitch?"

    Danielle had enough of her mother and her demanding ways. She is not like ordinary girls. Instead of allowing her mother to run over her, Danielle learned at an early age to speak her mind. "You are never here. You never care for me or about me. You are too busy on the streets than at home with me, your daughter. I'm not your fucking friend, I'm your daughter. Just face it ma, you don't want me in your life anymore, that's why you want me to move with grandma Tate."

    Yolanda took one step towards her daughter, and before she knew it, she had Danielle hemmed against the wall. "You want to know why I'm leaving your ass? You are weak. You ain't no daughter of mine, 'cuz my daughter would know just how to be a goddamn woman. You ain't shit little girl and from where I'm standing, you will never be shit. I regret the day I ever had your ass."

I concurred my fears and overcame my boundaries. I am twenty-four years old, I own half of the biggest record label's in the United States, and for once, I am not struggling. I had it rough growing up. I ran away from my grandmother's house at twelve. I couldn't stand her abuse; her constant yelling, taunting, hitting. Not mentioning the physical abuse, I was dealing with behind closed doors. If I could look my mother and grandmother in their faces, I would probably slap both bitches silly, and then kick rocks in their face. I made it through the struggle and now I am living the royal life. Why aren't I happy? Because I feel empty. I feel alone. Devante is never around when I need him and Sean, well Sean comes around but he is no Devante.