Emotional Torture.

Before October's Gone.

Our phone calls were cut short. my nights were getting colder and longer with every passing minute, all our conversations were  small talk, you send me small 'I miss you texts' that make my heart flutter thinking that we have a chance. then you turn right around and show me that non of this ever meant anything to you.

I keep trying to convince myself we might get a second shot.

I kept repeating the voicemail you left me last September, my friends kept telling me to delete it,  that this isn't good for me. but its my last piece of you.

I heard all the whispers and rumors about her. but I didn't want to believe any of it. you didn't ever mention her- maybe once, but I didn't think anything of it,

my mind flashed back to the starry night we sat together underneath the shine of moonlight, I remember when you said you could listen to me all night. I should've known you never meant it,

its mid-December,

things are official between you and her, I should've known better than  to fall into your trap, I was the naïve little girl that believed every word you said, I should've known that you never wanted me.

why are you doing this to me?

I remember that dim October night, when we had our first fight. our last one too.

I walked out on you, I gave up on us,

I never knew you could be so cold. but that faithful night, you were colder than snow.

somehow, at the back of my brain I always knew we'd never last. I always knew we'd end up broken like this. and from the bottom of my heart, I hope you feel happy with her, I hope she makes you happier than I could ever make you. I hope you open up to her better than you did to me.

I know sometimes things have to end.

and I know that sometime there is no explanation to any of the damage that happens.

but you could've let me know, you'd be moving on, Before October's Gone.