Emotional Torture.

Do I miss you?

I can't figure myself out anymore, my feelings are clashing and my mind doesn't understand what to do anymore, I don't know whether I crave you or if the tips of my finger just miss holding onto a meaningless rope of hope so much, do I want to drag myself back to your dark abyss of nothing? the black hole you've always managed to captivate me in, do I miss it?

I'm unable to tell if I just miss the feelings you gave me before you evaporated and left behind nothing but pieces of broken memories, rain pouring on me in the middle of July, when you broke my heart- for the first time.

Perhaps all I really need on this quiet night is the buzz of my phone signaling that you're thinking about me too, and that your heart is aching just like mine is.

Deep down, though, I know I don't cross your mind. I know I'm just a distant memory now. Just a single forgotten paper in your book of memories that, eventually, you're gonna burn. Just like you burned every single little piece of trust I put in you.

Will you then scatter the ashes?
Or will you keep them?