❝The monsters were never
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.
I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time
the monster has been me.❞
[MARAUDERS ERA]
[METANOIA SERIES B2]
[COVER: -VOIDLEGENDS]
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— chapter four — THE LIBRARY DEBACLE
—
IT WAS ONLY two weeks into the year, and Remelda was already falling slightly behind in Herbology. She hated that class so much she didn't care about her grades, but of course her parents had threatened the school to always tell them when their two (not three) children were falling behind and she had gotten a letter threatening her to bring up her grades.
Remelda didn't care if she failed Herbology, she hated that class so much, but she was afraid of her mother. She remembered the scars that colored her back like tattoos, some were still pink from summer, and she knew that they would be there forever. The scars would be a constant reminder of who her mother was, how she couldn't do anything against them, her parents would always have power over her.
So there she was, a Friday evening, in the library by herself with many Herbology books as she answered questions that she had no interest in answering. She knew that she should probably get herself a tutor, someone who could hold her accountable for her grades (besides her parents) and help her, but she wouldn't. If anyone in her house knew, she would be dead.
Slytherins were very prideful. They didn't like help and they didn't want it. They always thought they could do everything themselves, and she would be looked down on if she admitted that she needed help to anyone that wasn't Regulus. It wasn't just with grades that Slytherins were prideful, they thought anything they were was better than others – like the purity of their blood.
Remelda couldn't be mad at most people in her house, she would be just like them if it wasn't for Sirius (not her brother, she refused to call him that). But others, those like Demetri, she couldn't sympathize for, because they bullied and hexed many other people in other houses for not being like them.
Then she huffed. She was getting nowhere with her homework and she was never a fan of libraries. They were too quiet for her liking, reminding her of summer at home. But Regulus found them quite enjoyable. She understood, it was an escape from all their 'friends' (excluding Alfie) in Slytherin, it was an escape from listening to Demetri boast about how 'great' he was. But even with all that, she hated the quietness that the library brought.
Even though there were more things to hate, even though there were bigger things that everyone hated that loomed over their heads, she still hated the library with a burning passion. She knew it was like the childhood fear of spiders, something so small, but it held such a large place in her heart.
It was like home. Home. No, the place she lived. That was more like it. Remelda's home wasn't 12 Grimmauld Place or Hogwarts, she didn't have the best memories with her year, her home with Regulus. Her home was the one person she loved with hadn't betrayed her, hadn't hurt her.
Regulus was always there, unlike Sirius. Sirius hurt her, betrayed her, left her to take the harsh punishments of their parents, which had only gotten worse after his leaving. But she still found it in her heart to love him, even though it hurt. She wanted to desperately to forgive Sirius, to have that relationship back with him, but he had hurt her, he had broken his promise.
