❝The monsters were never
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.
I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time
the monster has been me.❞
[MARAUDERS ERA]
[METANOIA SERIES B2]
[COVER: -VOIDLEGENDS]
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— chapter fifteen — PUSHING PAST PRIDE
—
HIS HAND WAS interlocked with her own and she felt disgusted. It was so casual, the way he moved his hand from inside his pocket to meet hers which was in her lap. He had taken it carefully, interlocking them and she didn't let go, she didn't move, she let it happen – and she was regretting it. She wished that Regulus was there. He would notice, he would see what happened and make an excuse for them to leave so that she could find the loo and sanitize her hands. But he wasn't there; he was dead.
And she was still holding his hand. Opposite to her was Severus Snape, who she still felt iffy about, with Nancy Pendleton and another Slytherin boy. She could imagine Alfie – Alfred – beside her. No, he wouldn't be. If he were here, if he hadn't tried to kill her or anything, they would be in their separate cart at the end of the train with the others Slytherins. She would sit in the right next to the window and he would be on the left side in the middle of the booth. They would hold a conversation at first before turning silent. She would read her charmed book that seemed like a novel on the history of magic but in actuality was one of muggle literature. And then, when they were nearing Hogwarts, conversation would turn up again for a short while before disbanding to go inside the castle.
But he was gone – and so was Regulus. And the pain in her heart from both of them were different. From Alfred, it was from betrayal of a friend she thought, at the very least, she could trust. But the pain in Remelda's heart from Regulus was different; it was the loosing of a close family member. It was the loss of someone she loved dearly and would risk her life for. The pain in her heart for her brother was greater because he loved her and she loved him and now he was dead.
"Where's Regulus, Remelda?" Nancy stopped conversation to look at her, bringing the Black girl back into it.
It was true, her thoughts had been elsewhere as she looked outside the window longingly. But now, she was looking back at the girl. No one knew – no one besides Demetri. Although, her mother told her that the statement would be released tomorrow about his death. Of course, the story would be altered to preserve the dignity of the Black family. It would be said that he had an illness, one he had been struggling with since birth, and finally it had taken him over Christmas. It was a much better story, one that did not disgrace the family name, and that was enough for her parents.
"He won't be returning to school anymore," Remelda blinked, a calmness in her tone even though she was screaming on the inside.
"And why's that?" Nancy pressed on. No, actually pressing and bending slightly, allowing certain assets to show more to Demetri. Of course, he gave a little notice to it before shaking his head. She noticed but didn't say anything, she honestly couldn't find it in herself to care at all.
