❝The monsters were never
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.
I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time
the monster has been me.❞
[MARAUDERS ERA]
[METANOIA SERIES B2]
[COVER: -VOIDLEGENDS]
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— chapter fourteen — ALONE TO BRAVE THE WORLD
—
THE SERVICE FOR Regulus Black was beautiful. Admittedly, it was small since it was on such a short notice and the Blacks wanted to sweep the death under the rug. There was also the fact that they didn't want Remelda to miss any schooling over his funeral, especially because of how they thought he died.
There was a letter found on the pillow of his bed explaining everything. It started with I'm sorry and ended with sincerely and that was the end of everything. Remelda thought her goodbye was much more meaningful, but since when did her parents care about that? Her mother had found the letter, and with a pointed look, she read it aloud to the others at breakfast. She never faltered as she read, voice never wavering or tears in her eyes, as if she didn't even care. And once she finished reading, she just took a seat and ate breakfast like nothing even happened.
It took all her self-control not to cry as her mother read the note, but she did it because she was afraid of what would happen if she didn't keep quiet and act like this didn't affect her at all. That day, after breakfast, her father sent her to her room, not that she minded, and she spent the whole day there. Kreacher didn't invite her to lunch, only sending it up to her room after orders from her mother. And she sat in her room that whole day, the record playing ever-so softly, and stared out the window she had.
The record, yes, was of the Christmas music, but she made sure to silence it when that cheery one she heard when she returned the night before came on. She couldn't bear to listen to it. But, in her sadness, she stared out the window. Christmas was tomorrow, she knew that, and the people outside looked so cheerful. They were radiating with joy and Remelda couldn't help but be jealous of them. They hadn't just lost a brother, they hadn't just lost someone they loved – they were happy.
And Christmas was terrible. It was always terrible, the only good thing coming at the end of the day when she and Regulus would sneak into Sirius' room and they would exchange gifts. Even after he left the tradition continued with Regulus coming to her room. They would spend the whole night together, holding their precious gifts with eyes filled with wonder, curious as to what this holiday was like for others. But they always spent it together, and for once she was alone during that day.
She spent the night holding the gift she bought for Regulus months ago. Her first trip to Hogsmeade she found the perfect gift. Admittedly, it probably wasn't even the best, but she thought it was perfect. It was just a stationary kit because he always seemed to be writing if he wasn't reading and always seemed to need more quills – more high quality ones with different tips to have different forms, something he called 'calligraphy', a term muggles used. Remelda didn't understand it all that greatly, but she knew that he loved it and that was enough for her.
