WARNING: THERE ARE DISTURBING THEMES INCLUDED IN TIS CHAPTER. DON'T READ IT IF YOU'RE EASILY TRIGGERED. DON'T RISK YOURSELF JUST TO READ THIS OKAY. BE CAREFUL.
If our heart can flutter and be broken at the same time then that's what Namjoon's facing right now. His heart keeps fluttering seeing Seokjin's delicate beauty, his smile and everything about him made Namjoon's heart flutter like it will explode anytime, yet every glance he made, there's always a reminder that he will never be able to own that smile. He will never had a chance to be the cause of Seokjin's happiness and he will never be in his husbands' heart.
The younger is doing his best to mask his feeling toward his beautiful husband. He doesn't want things to be awkward between them so he's trying his hardest. Namjoon keep acting like nothing happen, that he didn't saw the scene he witnessed between his husband and his best friend and he feels like he's going crazy.
He can't talk to Seokjin about his feeling, Yoongi and him are still not talking and Hoseok is too busy with his social life. He tried to talk to his cousin Taehyung, but he's worried that the younger will worry about him and can't help but feel guilty.
It's getting harder and harder everyday. He need to control himself and his emotion for Seokjin not notice. It's harder everyday. And everyday,
It's getting too painful to bare.
Every night he's imagining that Seokjin and him will be sleeping in one bed, happily cuddling while he's whispering how much he love his husband each day of them being together. He imagined seeing his husband peacefully sleeping, resting his head in his arms. How they'll share the warmth from there bodies. Giving the eldest a good morning and good night kisses. He want to hear Seokjin's concerns and thoughts. He want it all. But all of that will always be just in his imagination.
He's walking alone inside the mall that, he want to look for something that can distract him from his thoughts. Maybe a movie will do, then he realize watching a movie alone are not a good way to be distracted.
So here he is. Walking alone in the mall, looking to everything showed in each shop. He suddenly smelled the calming aroma of coffee, then he decided to stop in a coffee shop and consume a caffeine beverage. He's in line, not caring about the other customers when he heard the women's voice in front of him.
"Miss, do you accept credit card?" the cashier apologetically looking to the lady while shaking her head, indicating that they're not accepting the said card. The voice seems familiar with Namjoon but he's not sure.
"I'm really sorry miss, I'm just going to get some cash. Then I'll be back okay. I'm really really sorry." She really meant it. She's hurriedly fixing her bag when she's ready to leave, Namjoon saw her face. He realize why her voice sounds familiar.
"Oh Ailee-ssi." Ailee's eyes were wide, her mouth is partialy hanging. "Oh, Namjoon-ssi. Hoseok's friend?"
The cashier is asking Namjoon's order when he realize what's going on. "Oh, wait. Umm miss, one iced Americano and I'll pay for her coffee please. Thank you."
Ailee needs a few moment to process what just Namjoon did. "Oh Namjoon-ssi, you don't have to do that."
"Anything else sir?" the blonde looked at Ailee. "Do you want anything else? Dessert or something?" Ailee hurriedly refuse, she's too shy to Namjoon to add another order. "Oh no, nothing else." She said.
The cashier said that they'll just serve their coffee so the two is comfortably sitting in the couch near the window. Namjoon thought it will be awkward because it's only their second time meeting. But Ailee had a nice bubbly personality so it's hard to be awkward around him.
