The OST of this chaprter is Don't Forget by iKON. Try to listen to it and you'll feel the emotion that the characters felt. :)
Everything changed after that day. Their peaceful and happy life are now full of sorrow, they're both hurting especially Seokjin. Namjoon is starting to get really worried for his husband. The elder doesn't want to get up from their bed, refuse to eat regularly. The thing the he really loves the most.
He always complain that the food are all tasteless and its making him more sad. Namjoon is seriously clueless of what to do anymore. He's worries that Seokjin will get sick if all this continues.
"Love please, just finish this, then I won't force you to eat dinner today. Huh? please, you haven't eaten anything since last night." But Seokjin wasn't listening of anything that Namjoon is saying. "I don't want to want to eat Joonie. Just let me sleep." Seokjin whispered.
He know deep inside him that Namjoon didn't deserve any of this. He doesn't deserve to suffer and be worried for him. but he can't eat and that's the truth. He fucking want to eat but he can't find even a small amount of energy to do it.
He's tired. There's a dull ache in his body and his head is hurting .All this were disturbing him and his last concern is to eat.
"Okay hyung, I'll stop now. But don't expect me to stop persuading you to eat, even a little." He said as he place the tray of food in the side table.
"Do you want me to hold you?" the younger asked as he sat behind hid husband. It is a definite yes for Seokjin. Namjoon's warmth is like his life source right now. It kept him grounded and safe and it made him feel alive.
Alive to still feel the love of his husband, alive to still feel the pain.
The memories that relives in his mind over and over again. It sucks. It fucking sucks to remember that for Seokjin. He wants to be angry, to destroy things, to scream and just hurt someone. But all of that wouldn't change the past and the reality.
The reality that he is hurt by someone who doesn't even care. That someone that treated him like a toy, a thing like he's nothing. That someone that made him feel like he's the lowest of all, that he is worthless and just a hole to be filled.
That someone that made him hate himself.
"You have a class right?" Seokjin deadpans, he didn't even turn around to look to his husband. "I'm not going to leave you feeling like that."
That finally made Seokjin look at him. "I'm fine Namjoon. You don't really need to take care of me." Lie.
If Namjoon will say that it's not hard for him, then he's definitely lying. He felt irritated and frustrated. Not with Seokjin, but with the situation. The feeling that he can't do anything to help his husband and make things better for him kills the younger from the inside.
