Everything changed after that night.
After Namjoon's confession their lives changes. The younger didn't know if it's a good or bad change. He felt happy like something heavy were lifted from his chest. Seokjin finally know his feelings. He's so proud for himself for having the courage to say that.
But Seokjin also changed. He changed after that, Namjoon can't understand the sadness he saw in Seokjin's eyes after his confession. He expected happiness and tears of joy. But Seokjin didn't say anything. He just turn his back to the younger that night. Namjoon didn't want to overthink so he just let it off his mind.
But he can't help but to notice Seokjin's actions. He act so awkward towards Namjoon. He always tried to avoid the younger's eyes. And do everything to escape whenever Namjoon is in the same room. He just tried to think that Seokjin is just shy with him now compared before.
But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt him.
It is hard like he felt the huge distance between Seokjin. It hurts that all he want to do is hug him. Kiss him and do everything to show Seokjin that he is deserving of the greatest and most beautiful love in this world. He want to do all of that. But his husband is rejecting him.
He doesn't want to force the elder to answer or even to talk to him. Namjoon want to give him space to think but he's still worried.
Their daily life continued like the normal. Minus the cuddling and everything that they did together. It's sad for Namjoon but he doesn't have a choice.
The blonde young man still wasn't talking with his pale best friend Yoongi. That's also a burden. He do realize that they are both have mistakes. And he really miss his grumpy pale best friend.
While doing his project, he's scrolling down in his facebook account. Suddenly he saw his picture with Seokjin in their wedding day. He tried to remember everything then his mind stooped in the memory of him and his two bestfriend in his room before the wedding.
He's so nervous and Hoseok is so loud that causing him headache. Then he remembered what Hoseok said.
"It's my first time attending to a gay wedding. It so exciting!" A word pops in his mind with a bold letters.
GAY. GAY GAY
He's so focused about his feeling with Seokjin that he forgot to evaluate himself. Questions suddenly floods in his mind. 'Am I gay?' Do I love men like other gay? I thought I am straight? What would my friends think? They'll hate me. They will be digusted.' his energy for doing his project is all gone. He felt conflicted with his own self.
Namjoon feels weird in his own skin, he never felt this feeling before. He started to feel self doubt and disgust.
Before Seokjin enetered his life. He was hundred percent sure about himself. He expect to have a wife and children like a normal straight man will do. He assumed that he'll share intimate moments with a beautiful lady. A girl that is full of charm and sexiness. And now he's here.
He is married to a wonderful and beautiful man and he's so in love with him. All his expectation in the future are all gone.
He's so sure that what he feel to Seokjin is genuine but he's doubting with his own self. There's an unexplainable feeling in his heart like there's a hole in it. Like a missing puzzle piece. Then he hates himself.
He decided to take a break on what he's doing. He's so stressed out so he want to be relaxed for the mean time. And it's Friday! It's not a sin to be wasted on weekend. Namjoon called Hoseok because he's the best person to call if you want to relax.
