a book of parent!phan

31. you deserve the world.

"PHIL!"

Phil turned around in the doorframe, looking back at Dan, annoyance played across his face.

"What?" he asked tiredly.

"What do you mean, 'what'?" Dan inquired incredulously. "Are we just going to leave it at that? Pretend it never happened?"

On a particular Thursday afternoon, the
Howell-Lester lounge was filled with stern voices and loud footsteps, deep sighs. However, seven-month-old baby Owen was oblivious, and he lay on his play mat, kicking his legs and toying with his mobile.

"Well, what do you suggest we do?" demanded Phil, eyes staring pointedly at Dan, leaning back and folding his arms.

"Um, how about fixing it?!" Dan nearly yelled in disbelief.

Owen gave a cry, the two looking over at the baby. "Will you shut up?" said Phil sternly.

Dan narrowed his eyes. "Phil, we were just robbed of money from my bank card, and we haven't done shit about it!" he whispered angrily.

"I've canceled the card! It's your money, you know, and you've got a phone to call the fucking bank!"

"Why can't you do it? You're my husband, you know, you can be supportive once in a while!" Dan exclaimed, his voice rising.

Owen gave whimpers, which rose into cries.

"I'm sorry, I've been busy being a dad, and you haven't been helping shit! The least you could do is call the bank!" Phil whispered sharply, approaching Dan.

"I have been trying to help you, Phil, but you want everything your way! He's my son too! I'm his dad!"

"Well you're a fucking terrible one!" screamed Phil. "YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM!"

Dan stepped backwards as if he had been slapped. Silence fell until Owen started sobbing heavily. They both turned to look at him. "I-" Dan started, his voice cracking, but no words came out. His eyes filled with tears.

No, thought Phil.

Dan never cried. He never cried in fights, when he was sad, or happy. Phil was always the teary one, Dan the one who laughed happily or grieved silently. Phil was the one he consoled, happy tears when Owen turned one month, sad tears when Dan felt sad.

But he made Dan cry.

"No," whispered Phil, his hands touching to his face. "No, Dan, baby, I-"

"Stop," whispered Dan shakily, tears streaming down his cheeks. He stepped backwards. "Stop. Leave it, Phil."

Dan glanced back at Owen, who was crying loudly, and gave out a sob. He covered his mouth, rushing to their room, and shutting the door.

Phil rubbed his face, wiping away his tears, and headed for a wailing Owen. "Come here, baby," he murmured, placing him into his arms. "I'm so sorry, angel," he cooed, rocking him softly. "That was scary, I know."

He sat on the couch, leaning back, placing Owen on his shoulder. He rubbed his back softly as he gave whimpers. He sighed deeply.

"I didn't mean anything I said, did I?" he inquired rhetorically, kissing his head. "Poor baby." He thought of Dan. "Poor Daddy, huh?" he whispered to Owen, tearing up again, in disbelief of making Dan sob.

"He deserves you," murmured Phil," so much."

-
Phil walked to the door of the bedroom the next morning, Owen on his hip, babbling and giggling. His face was filled with worry, and he was chewing his bottom lip.

"He'll forgive me, right?" Dan whispered to Owen, caressing his cheek.

Owen gave a giggle in response.

"Oh, shush, you," smiled Phil.

Phil pushed the door open slowly, walking in to see Dan clutching at blankets, awake and quiet.

"Dan," murmured Phil, shocked when he turned and smiled at him.

"Morning," he said softly.

"I hope you know I can't say sorry enough," said Phil quietly.

"You're okay, my love, I know you didn't mean it," said Dan.

Phil frowned. "I didn't, baby, but what I said was really fuc-" he stopped and glanced at Owen grinning in his arms. "Really mean," he said.

"It hurt," murmured Dan, toying with a loose thread. "But I'm alright. I can be the bigger person and forgive you. And I want to."

Phil's face fell into relief. "You deserve the world, Dan," he whispered.

Dan opened his arms, and Phil walked over to the bed and fell into them, Owen tucked into their shoulders. He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes.

"I've got the world already," whispered Dan. "Right here."

-
HI HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm at Vidcon currently, wrote this whole this as I am waiting for my friends to finish up with their meet and greet.

Let me know if any of you are here I would love to say hi and thanks!!

have a lovely weekend ❤️

-frida