Reckless Behaviour (Exo Kai)

Back to the Old Ways

Chapter 28 – Back to the Old Ways

Jina

Over the next few weeks I watched as Kai's and Irene's relationship bloomed under the very public eye of the media.

Of course I was jealous, of course my heart was screaming he's mine but I knew all too well that Kai would never be anyones. Half the time, I was cursing myself for setting him up with Irene like that but there was a part of me that was happy for him. He finally got his happy ending, though it was breaking my heart, I wished them well.

That was the reason why, when I got the chance, I decided to make a clean break.

My mum was dispirited and devastated by the fact that no matter how may times she begged dad, he went back to his old ways. It didn't matter that I was stripping and doing worse to cover for his sins and that mum was working herself to death, dad never gave a care. In a way I think my brother was the smart one to cut his ties with us before things got this worse. He knew dad was a lost cause while me and mum was in denial. Mum finally gave in and accepted the inevitable, then decided to move away from Seoul, at least for a while. It was the only way to cut dad off from his gambling contacts in the city. Well, until he found new ones back in the country side because we all knew it was only a matter of time before he found a way to feed his addiction again.

My parents moving to the countryside meant money was going to be even tighter because the chances of mum getting a decent pay back there was, well pretty nonexistent. Thanks to Kai, all our debts were paid off, his life may have been in a storm of media frenzy, what with him and Irene going public but he didn't waste any time before paying off all my remaining debts, including my sister Yeena's backed up school fees and the house rent, he left nothing for me to worry about, at least when it came to money. Going as far as having a black card dropped off at my place with a note that had the PIN and the fact that the card was without a limit written on a brief note. Most would have been over the moon about all what he did for me and I was so grateful but all that money couldn't give me what I really wanted. Him. In fact it only managed to put even more distance between us, as if the worlds of differences between us wasn't enough.

I sent my parents off with a promise to my mum to look after Yeena and to send some money to them as soon as I could, so she wouldn't have to worry so much about keeping a roof over their heads. I told her that me and Yeena would be moving and changing our numbers, so she knew to wait till we contacted her. In the meantime she would be busy settling down in the country with my dad.

The day before we planned on moving to the rundown studio apartment that was closer to Yeena's school, I went looking for Kai but knew if I saw him again that my determination to make a clean break would not hold, so I took the cowards way out. I left his card and a short note with the doorman.

'I have no words to thank you enough for all you have done for me. I will never forget. I promise, someday I will pay it all back to you but in the meantime I hope leaving my heart with you will be enough collateral.'

I almost regretted adding that last bit in. I never wanted to give Kai any indication of how hard I had fallen for him but I never wanted Kai to feel like I used him for money. He had enough scars as it is without me adding into it.

Looking for a new job that paid enough for Yeean's school, rent and food as well as to send off to mum was hard. My sister was in tears because I had to go back to my old ways to earn enough. She screamed my ear off until I agreed for her to work too as long as it didn't interfere with her school and was a job I approved of. She wasn't happy but she knew that was as far as I was willing to compromise on the subject.

I stayed far away from Blue Haze, knowing that would be the first place anyone would be looking for me. I had two options that I narrowed down to after making sure owners weren't related to Astro or any of his thugs. The last thing I wanted to do right now was to run into him. One of them was as a scantily clad waitress and the other was as a stripper. As much as I wanted to be the waitress, I knew only the stripper job would be paying enough to cover all the bills, so I took it. Guess I will be breaking the promise I made to Kai after all.

It threw me off my game a little when I went to work for my first night and realized that things were a little different at this club. I would have to put on a hell of show on the stage and strip down to nothing but a string around my waist. It's purpose was to hold the money when I came down off the stage and mingled with my audience, getting up-close and personal, so they could tuck their tips around my waste. It really was just a string around the waist. At first I thought it would be a thong or a G-string but no it was just a stretchy string around my waist.

The club paid the strippers next to nothing; all the money they promised would be the pay coming from the audience tips. It was a hidden lie that I was foolish enough to have fallen for but it was too late to move now. If I wanted enough money, I would have to give it my all. It helped that the light that was shining on the stage hid all the faces of the crowd on the floor, looking at me, as I moved like I had never before.

It was scandalous, lewd and downright dirty as I ended my show while lying on the floor with my knees bent and parted facing the crowd, my back arched as I played with my breast, all of me on display. As much as I pretended I was anywhere but there, I could hear their words and groans over the music. Their words that painted me as a whore, the worst a woman could ever be. I blinked away my tears and I got up with a seductive smile on my face while the light still aimed at the staged literally blinded me. It was worse than anything I had done before and the worst of it was yet to begin.

As the lights dimmed, I moved down from the stage and towards the crowd. I looked around for the bouncers to reassure myself before mingling with the crowd. Their touch purposefully lingered while tucking the money on the string I was wearing around my waist. I flinched when I felt a whisper of a touch on my nipple but I was horrified when it turned to an outright grope. I looked at the bouncers to come racing to my rescue but of course I should have known better. They watched like they didn't see what was happening but their eyes said a different story. They were waiting for me to indicate that I wanted their interference; they would look the other way unless I asked them to intervene, because if I wanted better tips I had to learn to tolerate a lot worse than a pinch on my breast. As if to prove my words I felt another hand between my legs, I clenched up but it didn't stop the intruding fingers or the groan of satisfaction from the guy standing next to me.

In that moment I felt all the walls around my heart come back up. All the time I had spent with Kai has made me soft; it was time to toughen up again. All the walls Kai had managed to melt around my heart was building back up and until that moment I didn't even know they were down. My survival instinct kicked in as I worked the crowd, being passed on from one pair of hands to another. I felt nothing and in that moment I didn't know how I could have ever felt or ever feel desire with a man. Kai may have taught me how much pleasure my body could give me but it was just a fading memory now. I knew I could never feel what I felt with Kai and the way I felt now, I wondered whether even he could ever make me react to a touch with anything other than disgust.

I filched and tried to pushed away from every single touch but the smile on my face was frozen in place. No one asked me why I was smiling when I was clearly not wanting their touch because to them I was nothing but a piece of ass, a pair of tits and a tight pussy that they couldn't have because they could look all they wanted and touch but sex was prohibited on the club. Anyone breaking that rule would be kicked out, at least I hoped that part of the rules I was explained earlier was still true.

A/N: There she goes again, ruining herself TT. Anyways just re-reading this before posting made me feel depressed, I hope you guys don't give up on her yet. They are both so damn stubborn : D

Don't forget to vote if you liked