VOLUME 1: TEENAGE DREAMS

Entry #1: An Alternate Universe

AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

People might have mistaken, but I am not always a bad thing. I am neither a bad thing nor a good thing. I am neither positive nor negative. I am not just on one side.

I am like a seed planted which will grow and bear fruit over time. So what people sow is what they reap.

They call me karma, so karma I am.

Today I am on a journey to collect seeds when I hear someone calling my name in her dream.

And I listen.

Even though it is always the same thing for the girls her age, I listen.

Her name is Mara-a fifteen year old girl who has always been complaining why everyone was so cruel to her and when karma will ever be on her side.

It's not like she did them wrong, but the strange thing is people around her didn't seem to like her.

Most guys in her class would make fun of her. They would make fun of how she walks and how she speaks. When she has something to say, her so-called friends would cut her off. When she silently walks, her classmates would shove her or shout at her for no apparent reason. However, when they need something from her, they would play nice and order her around.

It has always been like this, but when she complains, no one listens. The strange thing is she even seems to be at fault. When she confides her problem to her family, they would tell her she must have gotten in the way of others.

She could have understood it if there's enough reasons, but there is none. They would nitpick at her because her mere existence irritates or annoys them.

And as the day passes by that she can't do anything about it, it only got worse-the physical abuse, the name calling, the mockery.

So in her dream, she wants to get even.

She creates a universe of her own-like an alternate universe in which she had the courage to get even to those people who take advantage of her kindness and understanding. It isn't that different from the world she lives in; only that she feels pretty and confident in herself.

That's why when a blonde boy approaches her and calls her ugly, she smiles. In this world, she's not ugly. In this world, she can even speak up for herself.

"You are uglier!" she calls back at him.

She grins as she sees the surprised look on the boy's face, but he manages to throw another reply.

"Ha! Now the ugly duckling learns how to speak! Quack, quack!"

The boy imitates the way she walks like a duck to tease her. Then his face suddenly becomes hazy as it disappears in her imagination.

This time she is walking through the hallway, and three girls are about to meet her from the opposite direction. Mara used to call them as her friends. But in this world, she is doing just fine without them. In this world, she can just ignore them.

"Move aside!" the girl in the middle demands.

Mara knows she's going to be pushed aside, so she makes the first move. But still, she ends up on the floor.

And that moment slowly disappears, but the girl's annoying laughter still echoes in her mind. She shakes her head as if she's trying to erase it in her mind, but then everything changes.

This time she is surrounded with all the guys in her class. All of which used to make fun of how she speaks and how she walks.

"Hey, Mawa! How aw ya doin'?" one boy teases her.

"I think she's just fine. She's got hew haiw done!" another boy teases.

Everyone laugh just as how they find it amusing when she pronounces the letter R.

But in this world, she is perfect. In this world, she has no flaw with the way she speaks. She shouldn't be bothered, but she's starting to sweat.

She is about to say something when a girl with a curly brown hair cut her off.

"Don't talk! You're just adding up to the noise pollution," she says.

I shouldn't be swayed, she tells herself. This is my world.

But her dream turns into a nightmare she fears it would become-the fear that even in an alternate universe in which she had the courage to get even, life will still give her a bad karma.

"But I am not always a bad thing," I say.

As soon as she hears my voice, her imagination changes. All the colors and swirls, and blurred faces are gone in an instant. From the familiar set-up of her own classroom, she's taken into an unfamiliar place, standing alone in the middle of a room full of mirrors in different sizes.

"Who are you?" she asks, looking around.

"What makes you think life only gives you a bad karma?" I ask.

She keeps on looking around to search where my voice is coming from, but all she can see is herself, and a hundred reflection of herself.

"Who are you?" she asks again.

"You will know who I am if you answer my question," I say

"What was your question again?" she asks.

"You should have listened."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, then, I will repeat my question. What makes you think life only gives you a bad karma?"

She thinks for a moment, and then she bravely answers. "Because even when I do something good, I still get the bad things. Even in an alternate universe, I still can't get even. Everything I planned backfired on me."

"Do you think getting even is something good?" I ask.

She contemplates about it for a while, and then she answers. "No."

"When something bad happens to you, it doesn't always mean a bad karma. Sometimes you chose it. When they do you wrong, you chose to stay quiet. But it's not because you can't fight back, it's because you know it's the right thing to do. It's because you understand."

"But, why do these kinds of things only happen to me?"

"It doesn't only happen to you, Mara. It happens to everyone. I've heard a lot of same stories from different people."

"Then why do these kinds of things happen?"

"Mara, some people hurt others because they are hurt. And some just want to watch other's get hurt. Harmony starts from the people who understand the pain of each other."

Tears escape from her eyes. "But of all the people, why it has to be me?"

"Do you see your reflections in the mirror?" I ask. She nods, looking at every mirror in the room. "How about your reflection within the reflection?"

She nods again.

"Can you see how your reflection gets smaller with each reflection? Mara, this is you in the eyes of other people. Some people think you are big. These are like the eyes of the people who believe there's so much in you than being a loser. But for some other people, you are small and weak. They will trample you on and use you. What's important is you shouldn't lose yourself by how people think of you."

Mara looks intently at the hundreds of eyes staring back at her. I know myself better, she says to herself.

"You know yourself better, Mara."

"But I want to get even just once. Even if it is just a dream," she whispers.

"Some people reap what they sow in another lifetime. Do not think of how you can get even, Mara. Think of how you can have a peaceful relationship with them. Think of the good things, of how you can help them be a better person for you and for other people."

It must have given her a sense of hope because a smile formed in her lips.

And her imagination begins to crumble into fragments as it fades away. She drifts back into a deep and comfortable sleep.

And now, I have to continue my journey. There are still so many stories to listen to.