VOLUME 1: TEENAGE DREAMS

Entry #10: Nakakaloka Talaga!

NAKAKALOKA TALAGA!

Magandang morning sa inyo, mga people of the Philippines! And this is Kris Aquino po, nagmamaganda sa umaga. Palakpakan naman kayo r'yan. Aha, ha, ha! Tara na nga, I'll start making kuwento na.

So, there's this island na we visited no'ng nakaraang linggo. It's super maganda, at very addictive siyang pagmasdan, di ba, Darla? Aha, ha, ha! We make tampisaw pa nga ro'n sa blue water of its dagat. I had nothing to say, e, pagdating to its beautiful, and mesmerizing nature. There's a time where I just make tulala to the every alon na humahampas sa dalampasigan. Nakakaloka talaga, Darla! Maiiyak pa ako no'n. Nakakainis, ha?

Ang ganda kasi lang talaga, sobra. I could just live there kaso I remembered Bimbi. Kawawa naman siya. I knew, he'd like it pero mahirap. Puro adjustments na lang he always do for me. Like, when James and I broke up, he adjusted tapos ito, na naman? Ha, ha, ha! Nakakaloka talaga.

Pero, in fairness, ha? The accomodation of their people, maayos. Wala akong naging problem do'n. Pati security nila, I felt safe talaga. Mas safe pa roon sa talong ni Darla kahit may condom na. Aha, ha, ha! Ayoko na talaga. Nakakaloka kapag naaalala ko siya. No. Masakit pero go, push tayo! Love, love, love. Marami pa namang boys in the future. Malay lang natin, baka mas malaki pa 'yong kaniya. Aha, ha, ha!

Okay, so we make balik to the topic na. So 'yon, we had so much fun staying there. That was a good experience talaga and I couldn't describe the pakiramdam until now. It's like, my broken pieces, nabuo na siya. Aha, ha, ha!

Wait lang, Direk. Ehem. Darla, can you get me some tubig? Ibubuhos ko lang to your body. Ang asim mo na kaya. Naku, Darla, I know it's hard, but you have to do this. Even if it's not about your health, pero look mo. We, the other people around you, suffer. Aha, ha, ha! Ligo-ligo din kasi. No, joke lang naman. Ano ka ba? Di ka na nasanay to me. I'm really uhaw na and my throat is very nanunuyo na talaga. Faster, Darla. See? You really so mabagal kumilos. It's because of your mabigat na timbang. Puro ka kasi kain. Aha, ha, ha!

As I was saying, we visited an island. Sa Visayas 'yon, 'no? Ha? What's the name again? Aha, ha, ha! Sorry talaga. I fogot. Ha? Kayo rin? Diyos ko naman. People talaga is so makakalimutin nowadays. Sign of aging na ba 'to? Aha, ha, ha! Buti pa si Darla 'di nagsa-suffer sa problemang 'aging'. 'Cause di naman niya na-experience na mag-look-like young, e. Nakakaloka. Ayoko na! Aha, ha, ha!

If I was to make pili, it would be that isla talaga. Nothing made an impact tulad ng ganito. If you, people go there, masasabi n'yo talagang "Kris was right, I must kiss her toe ten times." Aha, ha, ha! Grabe, the kulay of their plant is not just green. It's healthy green talaga sobra. Many trees were present sa paligid ng place. Uy! Darla, naaalala mo ba? Habang we're talking in tabing-dagat, your mabahong laway make talsik to me because of the sudden blew of wind. I was really happy we make punta-punta sa island na 'yon.

I wish I could easily move on from the memories, Darla. But the flashing alaala in my utak really makes me in laughter. All I knew is that memories could only lead me into tears. I was wrong talaga. Aha, ha, ha! I'm really sawa na sa pagmo-move on. Nakakaloka, sobra.

But they say, lahat daw may end. And this is today's episode going to make it to its end. Ha, hays! I know this is hard but I have to say good bye na to you people. Bye, bye. Hinahanap na ako ni Bimb. Aha, ha, ha!

So, Direk? Okay na 'yon for now? No?! Putang ina naman, o. Argh! We need to shoot isa pang episode?! Okay fine, but for now let me take a 5-hour sleep muna, ha? You made me really pagod ngayon. I hate you, Direk! Susumbong kita kay Kuya Noy.

At 'yon, I walked out to the set and made my way to my room. Nakakapagod, ha. In fairness, na-stress ako ro'n. I know it's really mahirap and stressful pero sabi ni Dok, bawal ako ma-stress. Papangit daw ang looks ko, at bad din daw for my health. I'm not going to make payag naman na maging ganoon. Kawawa naman si Bimb. Si Josh? Hayaan n'yo na 'yon, malanding bakla 'yon, e. Kuya Noy is very galit nga kasi he has a gay nephew. Look, I can see the stress in Kuya Noy's buhok. Unti-unti nang nawawala. Aha, ha, ha!

Nakarating na rin ako sa private room na assigned to me. Air-conditioned, as I requested. I'm very inaantok na nga, e. Wait. Nangangati ako-este my lips. So I took out the posporo from my 'shallete' bag. And also the Marlboro Red na isang kaha. I picked one, and make it sindi. Aha, ha, ha! Nakakaloka. Nakakapagod maging perfect in their paningin. Sarap lunurin my beautiful, and Doctora Vicky Belo's product face in the toilet bowl. I hate it, I hate myself pero I have to be strong. Kawawa naman si Bimb.