Faith {A Daveed Diggs x Reader}

•chapter nine•

A/N: Just wanted to let you know that there's some anxiety in this chapter just in case that's triggering for some people. Enjoy...

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The only thing you wanted to know was why.

Why would he do this to you? Did Eden have something you didn't?

You took a swig from the whiskey you were clutching and tried to think harder. Then you looked down at the bottle in your hands.

He'd always hated your drinking problem, just like everyone else but you didn't think he hated it that much.

Maybe it was because of Justin.

You kicked yourself for even thinking that he'd see you like that. He was the one who sat through every therapy session, dried every tear, and stayed up with you on sleepless nights. He was the person you trusted the most when you couldn't trust anyone. Why would he turn on you all of a sudden?

Your relationship was never the same after that night. It took you so long to even let him touch you and even now you still get nervous when you two get close. Maybe that's why he's spending time with Eden instead.

This revelation didn't come as a surprise to you but it did hurt. You never thought you'd see the day that he'd leave you over this.

You swallowed another mouthful of whiskey.

It was absolutely silent as you let the reality sink in. You couldn't even trust the man you've been sleeping with for almost a year. The same man who sat through every therapy session, dried every tear, and stayed up with you on sleepless nights. You can't even go to bed without him or else you have nightmares.

You always find your way back to Justin and feeling like you had no hope. There was no way to fix what happened that night. No amount of alcohol would make you forget what he said, how he treated you, and how broken you felt. He damaged you and that's probably how Daveed felt about you.

The flashbacks of Justin kissing your neck from behind seemed way too real until you realized they weren't. The bottle of whiskey shattered to pieces as you stood up and shrieked in terror.

"Whoa, baby, chill out it's just me," Daveed said, holding you by the shoulders.

Your pulse accelerated tremendously as you struggled to catch a breath. It was as if your entire chest was being constricted and breathing became an impossible task all of a sudden.

"Breathe, (Y/N). Slow down," he told you. "Breathe."

"I can't," you panted. It suddenly got ridiculously warm.

"Yes, you can, babe. Breathe."

"Daveed, I felt him! I can still feel and hear him everywhere! It's never gonna stop! Ever!" you screamed. You felt like you should be crying but there were no tears in your eyes.

"Shh...it's okay. I'm here."

"I relive it every time I close my eyes! I remember it like it was yesterday!"

"I know, baby. It's okay," he repeated. "I'm right here."

"I can't do this anymore, Daveed, I'm so tired!" Tears finally began to form and they didn't waste time in rushing down your cheeks.

"(Y/N), it's gonna be okay," Daveed whispered, holding your cheeks and wiping the tears as they fell. "I'm right here, baby. You can trust me."

As much as that statement hurt you, you couldn't help but fall into his arms as he ran his hand over your hair. You cried into his chest but not because the flashbacks were so vivid.

You realized you couldn't live without this man. You give into someone who lies to you on the regular because you have to.

"I'm gonna clean up this mess, okay? Get in bed. I'll be there in a minute so we can talk." He kissed your forehead before you nearly sprinted upstairs and sobbed uncontrollably. You hated yourself for this.

You washed your face and brushed your teeth then changed into an oversized tour t-shirt. The fact that it had Daveed's face on it made you want to vomit but you didn't feel like finding something else.

"You scared me, girl," he said bringing you into his chest as he sat on the bed. "You haven't had anxiety like that in a while."

You nodded. "I know."

"Are you okay? Do we need to schedule more therapy sessions?"

"No, it's okay."

"Are you sure? You can tell me."

Then tell me why you're hanging out with that purple haired hoe!

"It's just that whenever it's really quiet, my mind goes off," you explained. "Especially when you're not around."

"Is there something I can do? I hate that you're scared."

"It's all in my head, really," you told him. "It's fine."

Daveed sighed and held you as tight as he could. You couldn't help but wonder if Eden's been in these arms recently.

"Daveed?"

"Yeah?"

You sat up and looked him straight in the eye. "I know I'm usually the one telling you what's wrong but I just wanted to let you know that you can tell me what's wrong too." You drew in a breath before adding, "I trust you and you can trust me too."

He smiled and raised your hand to his lips. "Thank you, baby. I love you."

You flashed a quick smile before responding. "I love you too."

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A/N

I hate how short this is but I didn't want to introduce another big plot point so soon oops. More soon for sure!🦉