Nan's Jewel

Nan's Jewel~ Chapter 7 <3 Edward

When Zillah burst into tears I had no idea what to do. I was the youngest son of eight children, and had never seen any of my siblings cry; all of them were too old, and Nan too crippled. I wrapped my arm around her, gently rubbing and patting her back until her sobs turned to hiccups.

"You okay?"I asked down into her hair. It smelled of the sea, and of a soft feminine quality.

"Yeah, it's just-." Hiccup. "The memories were so vivid of those nights."She said, her breathing shallow and irregular.

"Hope was six years old. She was the youngest in my family, and the only other daughter. When she was born the midwives said she wouldn't live... But she did. She fought for five years. Then, shortly after Hope's sixth birthday she died suddenly. There was nothing we could do. We prayed over her body that night, Psalm 91, hoping that she had just had a momentary death, but would come back. She never did, and she was buried."Zillah explained, fresh tears running down her face, forcing her to stop every few words.

"My entire family was devastated, I was only ten, but I remember it clearly. Even my brothers mourned her death. I was the eldest, but had the closest relationship to her. Andrew was nine, and wasn't that affected by it, but it was the removal of our parents that affected him. Shaun was eight, and loved to cart Hope around and help her with most everything. Carl was seven, and had such a close relationship with Hope. When he wasn't playing with his brothers, he was playing with Hope."She continued.

Her love of Hope was evident in her eyes, and I longed to help her, but I had no idea how. I was in no position to either, still suffering from the loss of my own baby sister.

Zillah, I want to help you. It's not good to live with that grief for such a long time, but I am in no position to help you."I answered, silently praying for wisdom.

"Wh- What are you talking about Edward?"She asked through her sobs, looking up at me.

Once again the image of Zillah just barely holding herself together came back, and I saw that this was why. Everything had just become too much for her to handle, and it shattered her, creating the tear stained child in my arms. Zillah looked up at me, longing for comfort, but I knew I could give little. Her eyes shouted help, but they also whispered of being betrayed; of opening up to get help, but of me letting her down. I figured the best way to help her, was to explain why I couldn't help her.

"Zillah, I faced something similar myself several years ago."I explained, not sure how to continue.

It had been years since I had spoken of Nan to anyone, besides a quick explanation of the ship's name. I wasn't sure I was ready to talk, even after ten years, but I knew it needed to be done; for Zillah's sake.

"I was the youngest son of eight children. I had one younger sister, Nancy, but we all just called her Nan. My family had enough money to live well; with servants, and enough food to feed everyone. Most of my older siblings had already been married off, leaving Nan, me, and my older brother John. Nan had always been healthy; the healthiest out of the ten of us, but then one day she came in, complaining of a fever. The doctor diagnosed it as smallpox. She died the next day. Nan was my twin sister, born a minute after me."I explained, tears choking my voice.

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry!"Zillah cried, most of her tears forgotten.

I felt cracks appearing in my strong resolve, and as Zillah held me the cracks grew, and soon my dam shattered, releasing a full waterworks show on Zillah. Just like I had held her, she held me in her arms, slowly rubbing my back and whispering soothing words. I felt embarrassed to have sobbed like that in front of her, but I was glad when she gave me a small smile. It didn't quite reach her eyes, but was a good start. I wiped away any remaining tears, blew my noses, and untangled myself from Zillah's arms. I looked at her puffy, red, tearstained face, and then looked and saw mine much the same as hers. As is stood in front of the mirror, I saw Zillah stifle a yawn, and lay down on the bed. I turned and walked over to her, lying down beside her. She rolled willingly into my arms, closed her eyes, and soon her breathing slowed and deepened, and I knew she was asleep. She was entangled in my arms, so rather than wake her and leave, I pulled the covers up over us, and fell asleep with Zillah's head on my chest.