The Letter

Chapter 13

The difficulty in life is the choice we make since making a choice is by means of changing the future. Understanding the power of choice is indeed of infinite importance. As human beings, we have three tendencies when making a choice. The first one is when we make a choice without even thining about the possible outcomes of it. The other one is when we think of it over and over before we finally make the choice we think is right. And the lat one is when we do not make a choice at all. The irony about the last tendency is that… when we choose not to decide, we still have made a choice.

“Choice… choice… choice…” Mag-isang kinakausap ni Julie ang kanyang sarili habang paulit-ulit niyang binabasa ang profile ni Elmo. Natatakot siyang sumugal pero kung hindi siya susugal paano niya matutulungan si Elmo na maging normal muli?

“Arf! Arf!” Tahol ni Blue habang paikot-ikot sa garbage bag na nakalimutan ng ilabas ni Julie dahil sa sobrang pag-iisip niya.

“Thanks for reminding me blue.” Malambing niyang sambit sa kanyang aso matapos niyang kunin ang garbage bag sa sahig. Chineck niya muna kung maayos ang pagkakasara niya ng pinto bago siya pumunta sa tambakan ng mga basura sa condominium na iyon dahil baka makalabas si Blue. It only took her fifteen minutes, after nun bumalik kaagad siya sa kanyang unit. She was tossing her room keys when she noticed that there’s someone standing on her room’s door, it was Elmo.

“Elmo…” She said softly. “Are you okay?” Tanong niya rito ng makalapit siya sa kanyang kliyente. Nagulat siya ng bigla siyang yakapin nito ng mahigpit. Halos hindi na siya makahinga sa higpit ng yakap nito sa kanya “What’s wrong with you?” May pag-aalalang tanong niya rito.

“Kilala mo ba ako Julie?”

Dahan-dahan siyang lumayo kay Elmo para tingnan ito. “Bakit mo naman natanong?”

“Just answer me.”

She doesn’t know how to make the situation better. The only thing she knows at that point in time is she wants him to feel better. She wants him to feel fine. And that will only be done by saying ‘yes’ as an answer.“Oo, ikaw si Elmo Magalona, daddy ng dalawang sobrang adorable na bata sa buong mundo.” Kaagad niyang binuksan ang pinto ng kanyang condo para maalalayan niya si Elmo papunta sa kanyang sofa matapos niya masarahan ang kanyang pinto. “Ikukuha lang kita ng coffee para mahimasmasan ka.” Papaalis na sana siya ng pigilan siya nito.

“Julie-” Pinaupo niya ulit si Julie sa tabi niya, sumunod naman kaagad sa gusto niya ang dalaga. “Kung kilala mo na ako, pwede mo ba akong mahalin?”

“Elmo ano ba namang tanong yan?” Mabilis namang sagot ni Julie rito.

“Sagutin mo nalang ako please.”

“Elmo-” Natigilan siya sa pagsasalita ng hawakan ni Elmo ang bewang at hilahin siya nito papalapit dito. “Teka-teka-” Pilit mang layuan ni Julie si Elmo ay hindi sapat ang lakas niya para layuan ito. Ngayon ay halos wala ng espasyo sa kanilang dalawa at halos iisa na ang binubuga nilang hininga.

“What if I tell you tonight that I want you. Will you feel the same way?”

Tinitingnan niya lang si Elmo habang nakalock ang kaliwang kamay niya sa braso nito.“Elmo-”

“Stop saying my name.”

“Lasing ka okay, hindi mo alam ang pinagsasabi mo.”

“Hindi ako lasing. Nakainom lang.”

Napailing nalang si Julie ng ulo habang pinagmamasdan niya si Elmo na ngayon ay nakafocus lang ang tingin sa kanya. “Elmo if this about your wife, I decided to help you all the way through.”

“Julie don’t you get it?” He’s looking at her, sincerely. “I like you. I like seeing you with my kids. I like when youre around me. I like-”

“Sssh.” Tinakluban ni Julie ang bibig ni Elmo gamit ang kaliwang kamay niya. “Maybe it’s all in the mind.”

“But what if-” Dahan-dahan niyang inilapit ang labi niya kay Julie. “I’m inlove with you?”

Napalunok si Julie ng laway dahil hindi niya kinakaya ang tensyon na namamagitan sa kanila ni Elmo. “Elmo please don’t d-” Huli na siya para bigyan ng babala si Elmo dahil nakakuha na ito ng tsempo para halikan siya. The kiss was soft as he slides his hands to her hips, resting there briefly before wandering slowly up her back to her shoulders. That moment hindi alam ni Julie ang nararamdaman niya, hindi niya alam kung dahil lang ba sa awa kaya niya hinahayaan si Elmo sa ginagawa nito sa kanya o ito’y dahil may nararamdaman din siya para rito.

 His lips left her mouth and found their way to her neck, kissing, as he reached around to the zipper on her dress. He slowly dragged the zipper down, his fingertips tickling and tantalizing as he went. With a simple movement he slipped the material off her shoulders and allowed the dress to fall halfway. Gently breaking the kiss, he pulled back slightly to look in her eyes.

Julie slowly opened her eyes when he released her, right there she met his stare. She hold her breath as he moved his hands to her face… his palms tracing her cheeks… his thumbs brushing lightly over her eyes and brows…  his hands through her hair.

“You look so perfect tonight.” He noticed the slight tug at the corner of her mouth. “I really like you Julie…” He leaned in until he could smell her shampoo, and under that, the scent of her skin. “I assume that you want to know more about me-“ He gazed at her. “And I’d like to know more about you too.” His eyes traced her face from her forehead to her chin. She was breathing a little faster and her cheeks were pink. “If you’ll just allow me to do this.” He tried to kiss her for the second time around, and she did… nothing about it.

Part of her wanted to pull back, he could feel it. But part of her, a bigger part, a stronger part, wanted to press closer to him and finally discover all of the things they’d both been wanting.

She stared at him for several heartbeats.  After a few seconds, he stared back at her and smiled.He put his other hand on her hip and pulled her close, until they were chest to chest. She certainly didn’t protest.

Her hands went to his shoulders and she kissed him back, making his heart thump in his chest…

That night… Julie made a choice. Choice na maaring sumira… o bumuo sa kanya. Choice na maaaring pasalamatan… o pagsisihan niya sa huli. Well, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what choices we make so long as we’re happy. And that night, she felt happy. For the fist time, she felt complete…

Truth is, in life, we just need to decide whether we’ll ‘play safe’ and regret at the end or take a chance instead. At that moment in time, Julie took her chance. Her chance of choosing her own happiness. Her chance of being with the person her heart truly desires.

To be continued…