Ballet Shoes, Angel's Hair and Revolution (A Les Misérables fanfiction)

Chapter 45

Hi my lovely people!!!
It's been crazy the past two weeks. First, I was at countryside and we had a huge power outage! But this week... I had my IB exams results. And guess what!!!
You're reading the works of no one other but the student of English with Creative Writing at University of Aberdeen ❤️❤️
Gotta move to U.K. And start writing for money haha. I am so happy you guys read this and that I get to do what I love for my master's degree.
I hope you like this new chapter because, I think it's important. Let me know what you think! I dedicate this baby to @I_mean_Electra who's been worried about me. Thanks for the worry i appreciate it a lot.
Xoxo
Wiki
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I felt my hands shaking when I heard my father's voice, I couldn't simply believe what he had just said. I looked at him with a complete puzzlement in my eyes, I was waiting for him to laugh with his horrible belly laughter and say that he was only kidding but nothing of such happened. He seemed unchanged and determined about his decision, leaving me almost speechless and shivering.

"You needn't say that papa," I spoke after finding my power to speak, but feeling that my voice still shook a little, "you cannot possibly mean that."

"Of course I can! I want you back home, your siblings miss you and you have been away for too long, my dear child." He said and still showed no signs of joking.

"But papa, I do not know what to say..." I was almost speechless, in my mind, I was trying to imagine how it would be to be able to finally stay home. For a moment I remembered all the wonderful moments I have spent with my family and all the memories I wanted to relive. I would have a neat, convenient life at home, but was it truly my home?

The halls of the palace, after two years, seemed too big and life here would be... rather dull.

"Just say you will stay here with your family," He pleaded.

My family... I had to ponder on that word. Family... The people that for the past two years have become almost strangers to me, the people who would have become more and more distant if I have not shown up at the ball. Could I come back to this? Living a life like a doll, dressed in the most expensive gowns, wearing bleak smiles all day long, sipping champagne and doing everything for a show. How could I become a porcelain doll, after that I have tasted what it truly means to be alive? I knew all of the ups and downs of normal life, I knew how it was to feel hungry and work for your own bread, I knew how it was to be properly tired or worried or to be purely happy and how make my own food. I couldn't possibly come back to living a life of a ghost when all my life was in the buzzing Paris? I had people I cared about that I couldn't simply leave, I'd rather die on the barricades than allow them to lock me up in the palace and then marry me off to some boring prince in another country. I'd rather die than lose my voice and my independence...

When that realization hit me, I felt droplets of sweat on the nape of my neck. How can I tell papa and break his heart?

"Father..." I began, gulping down, "I... I can't."

I saw how the pure fatherly love and content disappears from his eyes to give way to lack of understanding and perhaps even anger. That was what I feared, that he would not understand me.

"What could be possibly stopping you from reuniting with your own family?" He asked, clearly trying to keep himself composed but slightly failing to disguise the disappointment audible in his voice.

"My dear papa," I began, trying to calm him down and explain myself in the most reasonable way, "I have a life back in Paris, a life that I am quite fond of, and even though I oft dream of coming home, I cannot simply drop everything and leave," I said but papa did not seem convinced at all.