Break Me (Larry Stylinson)✔️

5

2016

I walk down the hall with my white converse hitting the floor over and over again, it's like my life is on repeat I do the same things every single day. I go in my own footsteps every single day.

The black t-shirt is hanging on my body, it once used to fit me but now it just seems like it's hanging there like a rug.

I can hear people talk around me but I can't really understand what they're saying because I'm too focused on not falling on my face, I haven't been able to sleep for a couple of nights and the dark circles under my eyes are proof of that.

"Styles" that voice. Please just leave me alone, I don't need him... but truth is I do need him but he doesn't need me, he never did.

"Hey! I'm talking to you don't walk away from me" the way he yells at me makes my bones go all cold because the voice he is using isn't something he usually would use to me. But then again he usually ignores me after the fire.

I can hear how the whole hallway is quiet everyone want to know what he has to say to me, I want to know what he has to say to me.

"I need to see you after school. Jane's?"

Jane's the only place in town where he was himself when we were out together, it was the only place I ever felt like he actually could change, but I know the can't.

I don't answer but truth is I don't need to because he already knows that I'll be there... he got me wrapped around his finger after all this time and I absolutely hate it!

I walk to class but my head is clouded by the blue eyed boy that is too damaged to be fixed. That's the thing, he is damaged and I knew that I just thought he could be fixed... but some people are too damaged to be fixed, some people are beyond fixing.

He's not really damaged... he's completely broken.

2014

I walk in to Jane's and see Louis sitting there at one of the tables, his jeans jacket is hanging on the back of the chair and the coffee in front of him is still hot. I walk over to him and sit down at the chair opposite from him.

"Hey love" he says and push over the coffee to me, I take a sip from the hot black beverage and almost spit it out when I feel the burning taste... alcohol.

"Hi." I don't say anything else just push back the coffee to him, he takes a sip and I can't understand how he can like that... but maybe he doesn't? Maybe it's just a way to numb the pain... the pain he won't tell me about but that I can see in his eyes.

"How was school?" The question is so simple but so hard to answer, how was school? People judging me for being with Louis, people talking behind my back... people talking to my face?

"Okay."

He knows it's a lie but I also know that he doesn't care, it's just that I wish he did care.

We sit there in silence, something is different, he is different. He is usually happy but now he just seem off, like something happened. I want him to tell me but I know he won't... he never does.

We sit there for what seems to be hours but in reality it's just 30 minutes, he then brings me out to his car and we drive to the parking lot outside of town... he parking lot where I lost my virginity to the man who's sitting beside me.

2016

I walk up to Jane's and stop outside of the door, I see him sitting there inside at the café where so much happened... I question my decision before I open the door and walk in to the warm place that smells like coffee, such a calming smell.

"Harry." The why he says my name makes my heart break and I can't help but feel a stinging feeling behind my eyes, a feeling of the tears pressing on the inside wanting to break out. I won't let him see what he did to me. I won't give him the pleasure is showing him that he broke me...

He broke me.

"Sit... please." His voice goes from being hard to soft, the softness he hasn't talked to me in ever before. I have never heard him like that.

I don't sit. I stand with my hands on the chair in front of me slowly questioning if I'm staying long enough to need to sit down.

"What do you want?" I guess I decided that if I sit then he got what he wanted, I won't break again I won't let him break me again... he already broke me enough I won't let him break me until there's nothing left to break.

"I want a second chance"

"No."

Somehow I'm out of the café faster than I thought was possible, everything is passing in a blur, he can't do this to me.

He's not allowed to do this to me!

I can feel the tears falling from my eyes the salty taste in my mouth from the tears that won't stop. I have dreamed so many times about hearing those words, but I just can't because I don't want to be the stupid boy I once was... I'm stronger than that....

No I'm not really stronger than that...

I turn around to go back but stop when I see Louis laughing with Zayn... I hear their conversation... they're laughing at how they actually made me think Louis wanted me back... it's a game...

It's always games with them, they don't have a reality because everything is a game to them...

I want to break down and just sink in to the ground because of the pain in my chest but I can't. Something is holding me back.

Pain... all he causes me is pain... always.

Hello!!! I wrote this on my phone and I hope it's okay! Love you guys