Break Me (Larry Stylinson)✔️

8

2016

I can see him looking at me but I'm trying to ignore those eyes. He is having his arm around someone else so he doesn't need me...

I walk towards my next class when I see that he moves after me, he left the girl behind.

I walk in to the bathrooms just to actually see if he follows me... and yes... yes he does.

"We need to talk... now." The seriousness in his voice is something that's so rare, he usually only have a demanding voice but this, this is different.

I follow him out to the parking lot and walk over to his black car.

"I want you to know that it's not true, what she wrote in the letter... it's not true." The way he say it makes me want to break down it tears, how many times can you break someone's heart until it gives up and you fall down dead?

Why are they doing this to me? Hurting me more than I ever thought was possible... they want to damage me so much that I will be beyond repair... they want to damage me so much that I never can live life normally again.

"Okay." I say with a lump in my throat, I don't want to cry but I'm pretty sure that he already can see the tears treating to fall from my eyes...

No one says anything for a while so I decide to leave because I can't handle this pain that just stand quiet is just too much.

"She was lying... because I do love you and I want to be with you."

2014

Tears are falling from my eyes when I walk away from the burning house, I hold my arms around myself like I'm trying to hold myself together.

I am trying to hold myself together...

I have never felt so hurt before in my life, how could I be so stupid? How could I let all this go so far?

I can only smell the smoke from the fire and I hate how it's stuck on me, it will take days to get the smell out of my nose...

But it will take a lifetime to get the memory of the flames around me to go away...

I walk down the empty road and I'm not scared of the darkness around me, it's kind of calming that the darkness is protecting me from everything that can hurt me.

You shouldn't be scared about what looks scary in the dark you should be scared of the things that still looks scary in daylight.

I can hear a car coming closer and I hear it long before I see the headlights... Louis... I watch him drive past me not even looking at me, but that's not what hurt the most...

What hurt the most is that on the passenger seat is a girl with pretty blond hair.

I only see her fast but I can clearly see that her hand is on a place mine has been so many times... under Louis pants.

I try not to cry more because I'm already crying so much that I can't see anything, I can't see because the tears are just clouding my sight.

2015

One year... it's been one year sense he left... he changes girl like he changes clothes, I want to say he loved me but it's obvious he never did.

I'm still in pain and everything just seems worthless, I can't understand how someone could have such a impact on another humans life...

It's a year later and I'm pretty sure that the pain is only getting worse.

People say time heal all wounds but I call bullshit... that's the biggest lie I've ever heard, time doesn't heal anything it just rips the wound open more.

2016

Here I am standing not knowing what to say or do, I have never imagined him saying that after our last time meeting.

So I say the only thing I can...

"You hit her." It's nothing more than a statement but when I turn and look at him I can see that he was cough of guard from my words.

"Who?" Don't be stupid!

"Don't you dare pretend you don't know! Don't you dare say you didn't because I heard you hit Perrie in the bathroom!" I say win my voice full off anger, I can feel the blood inside of me boiling.

"You weren't supposed to know that." He almost sound ashamed. Almost.

"Even if I didn't know it wouldn't have changed anything... it still happened. Just because people doesn't know it happens, doesn't mean it didn't happen!" I raise my voice at the end because I'm so mad! I don't know how to get all those emotions inside of me out. I just feel like I need to scream! I need to get everything out in the open!

I'm for the first time in forever not sad or hurt... I'm mad, I'm angrier than I have ever been before! I just want to scream at him make him feel all the pain that he caused me for all those years. He caused me so much pain and now here he is trying to convince me he loves me and wants to be with me. That's fucking bullshit!

"You're such a fake!! You think that you can go around and cause me pain for years and then just get back in my life like nothing happened?!" I'm screaming at him and I don't stop there I just continue getting all the hurt out, I don't know where it all comes from... and he just stands there taking all the shit I'm throwing at him...

"Shut up." He say it really quietly but that honestly doesn't stop my rant, I keep screaming at him.

I don't even care who hears me!

"don't tell me what to do!!"

And that's when something changes... he grabs me by my neck and just presses our lips together.

I don't even know what's happening but somehow we're leaning against his car just being pressed against each other sucking faces.