Chasing After My Life. (Another cancer story)

Chapter 44

Leo
For now I knew of one thing I was deeply in love with April Carver. I was hoping hard that she was still in remission when she returns to the doctor next week. It always scares us both because at any minute she could be told that she is no longer in remission and that her cancer is back. We both don't want that to be true. I know she wants to be like every other normal teenager but to me she is perfect as she is. She's extraordinary if she isn't normal and for this I love her because she isn't afraid of being herself. She has a light inside of her that I've never seen in any one else. When she smiles there is a light behind it and her eyes light up. She lights up a whole new me when I'm with her. I just light up and no one else ever in my life has had that effect over me. I love her as her extraordinary self. Now all we can do is hope for the best. There have been signs that may be nothing but they could also be everything. They could tear apart our world within a matter of minutes. I guess we'll find out next week.

April
I know how Leo feels. I saw it every minute he looked at me. I told him not to fall for me so hard. I didn't want to hurt him if I didn't beat my cancer. There is a good chance it will return because it can. I've seen the signs and I know he has too. I'm pretty sure it's back I can feel it. I don't know how to tell him. He wouldn't believe me until my doctor showed him the results from the blood work. I go next week to the doctor and I'm positive it isn't going to be good. I hate hurting him this will hurt him and it won't be easy doing it again. I can feel it though. The presence of my cancer is growing in weight everyday. I had returned to school. We had just started to receive the bills for my treatment and it was a drain. One of the local churches thought that it'd be nice for the community to come together to help pay for it so they were hosting
a benefit in my honor.
We went to the benefit for me at the church since the people there wanted to raise money to help us pay the bills for my treatments and everything,it would be rude for me not to show up I wasn't thrilled about going. I know how people are and I hate their pitying glances. I was sitting with Leo. Our hands entwined in each other's. He was my support system. He could tell something was wrong by watching my face. But sitting there, getting pity glances and knowing they were whispering about me I couldn't take it anymore and almost burst into tears as I began running out and hid next to the newer type building wishing the pity would end since no one treats me the same anymore ever since I got sick. I hate it. I hate being sick and everything that comes with it. Everyone ran into panic since they couldn't find me and it was dark outside. Of course Leo knew me the best and found me first.I had broke down by then and I was sobbing and crying. Hey what's the matter,he asked gently and quietly sliding next to me on the ground .I can't do it it is too hard this is all too much,I sobbed.He pulled me into a hug with me leaning into his chest. Yes you can you are strong,you're still you,he assured me. I am normally cause I keep my feelings in remaining strong for the ones I love the most.I shook my head crying and sobbing,I was a mess especially with my shoulders shaking harder as I tried catching my breath.I was getting his shirt wet.Its okay,let it out,you need to cry again,I'm so mad at the world that this happened to you in general,he said hugging me closer with the fact that his shirt was wet even more noticeable with more tears wetting it.I eventually fell asleep there in the cold of night in his arms against his chest breathing in his tshirt that smelled of him safety and the cool evening air(at the time I had no oxygen nubbins). I loved getting to breathe in that cool air. Once he noticed that I was asleep, he very carefully covered me with his jacket, picked me up and carried me to the car after texting Sarah to let her know he had found me. My face was red but my breaths came slow and steady now. I couldn't handle it.It has to be hard though because if it wasn't hard than everyone would want to do it,the hard is what makes it good and the pain that hurts is a good kind of hurt,he whispered in my ear before Sarah came out and we soon left with me and him together in the same seat in the back because I was asleep and wasn't leaving his arms,I wouldn't let him put me down and nuzzled my head into his shoulders finally calm and sleeping. I knew that they were both really worried because no matter how many times the moved I didn't open my eyes once. There was a blanket in the car that he covered me with. My pants were soaked from the dew wet grass. I had been shivering but with the blanket and being pressed to him I had stopped because I was warm and comfortable by that point. I didn't open my eyes again until we got to the house. He had gotten out to carry me into the house to bed when I opened my eyes and blearily looked up at him for one moment before snuggling in closer to his chest as he carried me in.  He just held me to him. When we were inside he stepped out for a moment while Sarah handed me some baggy sweatpants and a loose sweatshirt to sleep in. My pajamas were here somewhere but I wasn't looking and neither was she. I changed quickly then Leo came in. He kissed my forehead like usual and was about to walk away. I grabbed his hand and whispered,stay. He slid in next to me and wrapped me up in his arms. Finally comfortable,I slept in his arms and eventually he fell asleep too.