Relief (Completed).

Chapter 18 of Relief.

Ugh. Morning sickness is hell, especially to my case. Ugh, I am pregnant. Ugh.

I can’t help complaining. I don’t want to mess myself up. I care for myself, and my baby. A lot. So I put up my sincerest efforts to this pregnancy.

I keep talking to him. Every morning, after I thank God for another day, and every evening, after whispering my prayer to God. He seemed to like me. He kicks me. Yeah it hurts, but I smile everytime he does it. I think he signals me that he’s happy to be my child and to tell me how he loves me. What a wonderful child he will be, I’m sure.

I tell him stories about his dad, friends at school, and even Daniel. Daniel who’s been crying his eyes out for me without even noticing, who writes to his diary about me.

I found a paper on the floor with my name doodled on its back. I got curious, so I picked it up. I flipped over and saw a long writing on it. I recognized the handwriting, but I didn’t remember immediately to whom did it belong.

“Hmm. I know this writing.” I whispered to myself.

I kept the paper, and walked home. Carl went first, for he has his training.

When I got home, I changed clothes and repacked my backpack. I remembered the paper, so I pulled it off. I started to read.

“The first time I saw her, I knew instantly that she’s an angel.”

I was shocked, knowing this would be referring to me. I read until I finished it and felt sadness in my heart. I haven’t realized that he really loved me.

“Jade made me fall for her without her knowing.”

I hurt him a lot, yet he is always there for me.

“Though loving her hurts, Jade completed me.”

I cried. I regret everything I’ve done to him. I mean a lot to him, but I didn’t treat him fairly. I never thought someone would be like this to me.

What should I do? I have to apologize, even if it’s not enough. But I couldn’t let him know I have this paper. It would agonize him and think he’s in shame. I can’t bear that.

This is I think the problem in me. I care a lot to other people. I hate hurting them, even unintentionally. Everyone has a special place in my heart. Yes, Daniel does have, too. And he will always have that place.