Relief (Completed).

Chapter 7 of Part 2.

The night I wrote the letter was very tough. It seems like I have tons of things to say, but I can’t put them into words. I even started a draft, because I want it to be perfect. But I was left being frustrated. I was crying again, until I had fallen to sleep, with tears with me.

A few days of waiting made me lonelier. I told myself to be patient, for Jade is nowhere in sight. No one knows where she is, even Kelly. But I can’t help hoping. I can’t help being like this.

…

The sun’s bright rays woke me up. It’s hard to see and focus with my eyes stinging. I groped my way towards the bathroom and washed my face. I made an extra effort with my eyes. I looked at the mirror and saw how pitiful I am.

“Daniel, get a grip of yourself.”

I always say to myself that I can get through this. I’m alright. I can find her. I can hold on to loving her, even if she doesn’t love me back. It’s fine with me, as long as I make her feel loved. I say to myself that loving is sacrificing, that love gives sacrifice a sweeter meaning, that love without sacrifice is lifeless. But as I examine myself in the mirror, I realized that my efforts are in vain. I’m pitiful. I’m weak. I always cry for someone who is even not around.

“I’m tired enough to let go.”

But I can’t even let her go. It’s because of the feeling or her presence near me. It’s like she’s at reach, like she’s just a kilometre away.

“Jade, I know you’re just there. Let me just see you for a final moment, and I will be healed. Clear to me that you don’t love me, and I will let go of this feeling.”

I let the basin catch my tears.

…

After I bathed, I ate. I made myself force down a huge meal. I also noticed that I lost weight, due to stress. I hated myself for being like this. I scolded myself for being stupid. Maybe being stupid is a part of being in love. Whatever. I just feel so numb now.

I was just taking another bite when the telephone rang. I walk groggily and picked it up. It was a surprising call.

“Hello?” I said in a hoarse voice.

“Daniel? I need to see you.” Kelly’s voice was on the other line.

“Kelly? Why?” I rubbed my eyes as I wonder.

“Just see me. It’s important.” She pressed firmly.

“I’m too tired to go out today, Kelly. I’m sorry.” I said.

“But it’s important.” I can sense the desperation on her voice.

“How can it be important?”

“Please Daniel. Just listen.”

“I already said that I’m too tired. It’s been a bad day for me. I’m sorry but I have to go.” I was to drop the phone when she said, “It’s about Jade!”

“What?” I nearly choke.

“Yes. Please. That’s why I’ve been urging you. Please?”

“I want to, but I’m not feeling very well.”

“Then I’ll just go there.” She said.

“Okay. Is it fine with you?” I asked shyly.

“Of course it is.”

“Thank you, Kelly.”

“No worries. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Oh, Jade. When I was supposed to give you up, here you come. Life’s really crappy. I want to scream all my pain and frustrations. I’m tired. I’m sick of all of these. I’m broke.

But there’s the hope I’ve been waiting for. She is really near.

And I wept both my happiness and despair on the phone.