Namjoon pov
I slapped her...
Why though
Why did I get so angry?
I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and shit did I looked messed up.
I leaned back (now lean back ey lean back...sorry) my hair was a mess...
I just don't even know what I was suppose to do!
I let out a frustrating moan and kicked one of the toilet stalls.
Just why.
For fuck sakes, just why?
I came to this town thinking I could restart my life, thinking I could finally get over my past and get over her...but the same thing, is just repeating itself again.
Why did I even get myself evolved in all the bullshit?
What in the fucking world was I thinking?
All I wanted was a normal life, no drama, no issues!
So just why!
I yelled once more and grabbed the fire extinguisher and was about to throw it towards the mirror but a tired voice stopped me.
"Don't you dare"
It was Jin.
He stood near the door looking like he hasn't slept for 3 days stright, he looked worst than me, Jungkook or (y/n).
"There's been enough broken furnitures today and the last thing I wasn't is a smashed mirror" he sighed.
I put the extinguisher down and bowed my head "sorry".
Jin gestured me to follow me with his hands as he spoke "It's alright"
I walked behind him through the silent hallways, feeling mixed emotions.
"So" Jin continued "heard you had a argument with miss (l/n)"
I nodded my head "y-yeah".
He didn't speak for a few seconds, I knew what was coming next...
He turned around and looked at me sternly "why did you slap her?"
I juts stared back, not knowing what to say, because not even I'm sure why I slapped her.
Oh how irony, I'm guessing this is how (y/n) felt when I was questioning her.
Damn life sure is a bitch ass hoe hue?
Jin sat down on one of the waiting chairs and patted the empty spot next to him "sit'.
I did as I was told and sat down next to him, my hands sweaty, heart pounding.
I felt like a small child who did something wrong and is now waiting quietly and fearfully for their punishment.
"Namjoon?"
"Yes?"
"Did you perhaps have feelings for (y/n)?"
I thought for a while and nodded.
"I see. Namjoon I want you to answer this honestly"
"Ok"
"The reason you slapped her was because you felt betrayed, frustrated right?"
"Y-yeah"
"And it also reminded you of your dreadful past...right?"
My heart sank.
I didn't want to talk about it.
I didn't want to talk about her.
"Namjoon...I know you don't want to talk about it"
Please no...
"But we're going to have to"
But I don't want to
"At the age of 17...your mother sold you off for money"
Stop
"Until the age of 21 you did some...difficult jobs"
Please no
"At the age for 22 you managed to escape that place and found your self in a beautiful village"
Oh how badly did I want to run away
"You got yourself a well paying job, got into a good collage found a beautiful girl you had an interest on. Showed her love and passion, did everything for her...only to be told later on that she had betrayed you..."
I'm begging you
"You felt used...heartbroken...for 4 years you lived and worked in the poorest conditions, people spat on you, looked down on you, made you do adultery work and finally you though you had found happiness"
Just Stop
"You told her about your past...and she told everyone else. And the wold village knew of the disturbing past and despite pity and empathy, they hated you instead. You lost your job, got kicked out of school, got mocked by the village elders, mothers wouldn't let you tough or speak to their children...and that girl you loved"
Just kill me already
"Tell me, what did she do?"
Jin placed a hand on my shoulder and gripped the tightly.
"Namjoon...what did she do?"
Tears...
We're just raining down.
My voice couldn't come out.
No matter how much I wanted this to get off my back, it couldn't come out.
"You had an argument with her...she acted like she was the victim...you slapped her...but at the current moment...where were you?"
"W-we...we're standing on a b-bridge" I managed to speak out.
"It was windy...I slapped her...she fell off...and" I couldn't finished my sentence.
Instead, I broke down in to tears.
I couldn't finished it.
"She fell and what Namjoon?"
"She died"
Jin and I sat down in pure silence except for my crying.
It was a lonely, sad silence.
The air felt heavier...and the world around me felt so much darker.
I just wanted to kill myself.
"And after that you locked yourself inside you house. You're mental state got worst, you tempted suicide but tell me...what gave you hope?" Jin stroked my back.
"What gave you hope?"
Hope...
What exactly gave me hope...
I can't remember...
I can but not so clearly...
Hope...
Hope...
What have me hope...
"Her older brother" I spoke "Jung Hoseok...he came to me, told me it was alright, told me to move somewhere else and start a new life like he was going to...he...forgave me.."
Hoseok
"Namjoon...(y/n) isn't going to die alright, she's not that girl. You were forgiven and now you need to get over it, not forget it but get over it and now I think (y/n) too needs be forgiven and you to need to apolize..." Jin then stood up and walked back to his office.
Leaving me behind.
Rethinking my whole entire life up until now.
Forgiveness
