Love Will Remember ❄︎ Camren

Chapter Twenty One: Snow-Globe Memories

Camila POV

I groaned and slowly let my eyes flutter open and close before I adjusted it to the daylight that seeped through the blinds in my room. Waking up was no longer a pleasure that it once was. I no longer woke up to entwined limbs and my beloved arms wrapped around my waist, all I got now was duvet and more duvet. I sat upright and flung the duvet off my frame. 

Waking up can be really ruthless, especially if your dreams were better than the reality which you live in. It was better because the dream was where I still had her, where I could kiss her and hear her tell me she loved me as much as I wanted. But do you want to know the saddest part of it? Eventually the memory of the dream will dissipate and all you're left with is the void and hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach that yearns for what the dream once had. It was the only proof that the dream happened.

I sighed and got off the bed and padded into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and crinkled my nose. "You look like shit, Camila." I brushed my teeth. I lacked the energy nowadays to do anything remotely 'normal'. Though Lauren and I seemed to have been building a friendship again, I couldn't help but want more. I wanted Lauren back, my Lauren. Not the one that belonged to everyone else. I wanted the one who loved me but I couldn't help but feel as though she was never going to come back. Ever.

I stripped off my clothing and hopped into the shower. The hot water cascaded down my body and caressed my skin. Water was always peaceful to me. The shower was my solitude, the only place I could get away from everything, but it was also the place where every thought rushed into my head and I couldn't help but spend many minutes contemplating everything.

After a few more minutes of pondering life's greatest mysteries, I turned the head of the shower off and wrapped my towel around me. When I stepped out the bathroom fully clothed, I was greeted to Dinah, my best friend sitting crossed legged on my bed with a tray beside her and what I assumed to be a present in her lap.

"Happy March 3rd, Chancho!" she beamed at me. Dinah patted the bed, gesturing that she wanted me to take a seat. I'm not one of those people who scream bloody murder if they don't get a party when it's their birthday or the usual cake, ice cream and a shitload of presents. All I wanted was to just forget about this day but I couldn't. My life alone reminded me of this day. It wasn't just the day I was born but according to my beloved father, it was the day my mother was taken away from the earth. Oh how I longed for it to have been me because I would've avoided all the pain and heartbreak and hurtful words my father spewed at me during my lifetime living with him.

"Dinah.." I began but she brought her hand to cover my mouth.

"Listen, before you say anything, Chancho, please hear me out," she pleaded and I sighed behind her hand and nodded. "I know how much you loathe today, but listen to me. Today isn't a bad today. It's the day one of my best friends; my partner in crime, the Walz to my China was born. It's your 20th birthday, Mila. Its twenty years of your selflessness, of your golden heart and cheerful smile...It's twenty years of Camila," she smiled. "And it's not a bad thing because you mean so much to me and I love you so much, Chancho," she said tearfully whilst looking at me. I couldn't help the tears that escaped my own eyes, I never thought about my birth this way before. To me, it was always a burden to everyone around me. My father sure made a swell job of remind me about that.

I pulled Dinah into a hug. We both turned into sobbing messes for some reason. "Thank you, Dinah for always being there to cheer me up. Especially in these trying times. I know I could always count on you, CheeChee. I love you." I sobbed into her shoulder. She was rubbing little circles in my back.

"No matter what happens, I'd always be here for you. I love you," she said. After a couple more minutes of sobbing into each other, we pulled away. Wiping her eyes, Dinah laughed. "We're so dramatic."